Seven Days of Love and Hate
by AiriFox
Summary: A haphazard bet with Rangiku Matsumoto forces Soifon to get a date with any guy in a mere week. With Soifon's romantic sense of a rock, a perpetually hopeful ally and the weirdest crop of men ever, what will come out of this bet? Pairings: SoifonXMany
1. hotsummerDAYS

**Author's Note** - Alrighty, here's something that should prove to be fun for all the Soifon fans out there... I started writing this in July when I visited Ft. Myers Beach in Flordia (it was very, very hot, which is how I came up with the idea for the intro) , then continued when I visited my grandparent's house for a few weeks. When I finally got back (late August), I wanted to get back to working on it but I got caught up in school preparation and had little time to write. Now, however, I'm back on track with school and I intend to continue this. So anyways, this is pretty much my response to all the YoruSoi fiction out there. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the pairing, but alot of the fics out on the web seem to be the same old thing done a little differently. Y'know, pining Soifon, Yoruichi comes in all teasing, Soifon is embarrased, romance-ish stuff, everyone is happy and so on (though I have seen some EXCELLENT, unique examples of YoruSoi out there). I just wanted to try a few new pairings with Soifon, but I found myself turning them into humor rather than actual romance. Which, now that I think about it, is probably good, since a humor-oriented approach works well for this story. And for the record, I tried to give every chapter a very 'Bleach'-y sounding title.

I don't own Bleach and so on... Anyways, here it - "Seven Days of Love and Hate"!

---

It was hot. Now, usually a story like this would begin with an intricate and extensive description of the weather containing more adjectives than one can possibly fathom. However, so is not the case. There are no other words to describe the weather today, it was simply hot. Not only was it hot, it was humid. Together, the two created a suffocating feeling that lingered in the air and blanketed all of the Soul Society in a cloud of stuffiness that virtually bred volatile tempers. Typically, mid-August days in the Soul Society reached no higher than 80, maybe 85, degrees Fahrenheit - a contrast indeed to today's 115. As fate would have it, today was also Thursday and thus the meeting day of the Shinigami Women's Association. A dozen women locked together in a boiling room virtually cried disaster. And this is where our story begins... Nanao Ise, who usually conducted the meetings in place of Yachiru Kusajishi, was standing against the wall fanning herself while bitterly complaining about the lack of work getting done. Rangiku Matsumoto was draped over two of the chairs that surrounded the table. She had effectively shed most of her uniform, leaving only the white kimono on. Soifon had also abandoned most of her outfit and instead donned the airier and lighter Shozoku uniform, thanking the heavens she was commander of the Secret Remote Squad. Nemu Kurotsuchi sat reserved in the corner, not saying much of anything, only wiping sweat from her brow every few seconds. Yachiru was about the only one in an even semi-good mood. She claimed she loved the heat. Everyone else, well, didn't fare as well. Nerves were frayed and tempers flared as petty arguments broke out, only to be interrupted by Nanao's vocalized attempts to get everyone on topic again. Even the usually polite Momo Hinamori was lashing out at the slightest annoyance.

"Uggghhh..." groaned Rangiku as she shifted into what she prayed was a cooler position, "Why does it have to be sooooo hot?"

"Shut it. Do you really think any of us are enjoying this?", snarled Soifon. The strawberry-blonde woman merely shrugged off Soifon's abrasive comment.

"That's it, this thing is coming off...", Rangiku muttered as she tried to wiggle out of what remained of her uniform. The sweaty fabric that clung to her skin made it a bit of a pain.

"Oh, please, Matsumoto!", cried Soifon, "Can't you keep your clothes on for once?"

"What's the problem," she replied, "We're all chicks, it doesn't matter..."

"It's not proper behavior, and you show more than enough skin as it is." A smirk played over Rangiku's features, one that clearly told she had an argument planned against the 2nd Division's Captain.

"Yeah? Well that little outfit of yours shows quite a bit of skin as well, Soifon. You're not in much of a position to talk." Just as Rangiku predicted, Soifon bristled and went straight on the defensive.

"The Shozoku combat uniform is designed for maximum comfort and functionality in battle as well as to enable the use of the Flash Cry technique."

"That doesn't change the fact you're virtually naked from the waist up in it."

"At least I have excuse..."

"Aw, c'mon..." Kiyone Kotetsu whined from a corner, "Can't you two just shut up? It's too hot for this!"

"Kiyone's right..." her sister, Isane, agreed.

"No!" Soifon suddenly stood up, shoving her chair away, "This idiot-" she pointed at Rangiku, who merely smiled, "Has no respect for me whatsoever."

"Yeah, that's pretty Matsumoto for you..." yawned Momo from across the room. Soifon dismissed the comment and continued with her rant as she paced across the room.

"Not only that, but she struts around the Seireitei with that robe hanging open simply to pick up guys! It's completely-" She was quickly interrupted by the very woman she was ranting about.

"Hey, don't be ticked at me because you can't pick up any guys. Though I'm sure if you relaxed a bit and were so freakin' uptight all the time you could." Rangiku stopped for a moment and her grey-blue eyes connected with Soifon's harsh silver, "Ah, I forgot...You only have eyes for Yoruichi..." At this point, the temperature of the room soared a good 20 degrees as Soifon fumed. She respected, even worshipped, her former mentor, but didn't love her. Not in that sense, anyways.

"NO! You listen, you - mrrrrruphhh!" Nanao had clamped her hand over the raven-haired captain's mouth as a few other women restrained her.

"We don't need a fight, Captain Soifon..." the bespeckled shinigami said sternly. Soifon briefly flailed like an angry cat then relaxed, letting herself droop in their  
grasp. Slowly, the others released her. They knew she could be a handful when either

a) angry

b) in pain

c) drunk, as was proven at the 11th Division's party two weeks ago, but that's a story for a different time

Luckily, however, she did not fly at Rangiku, which only boosted the curvaceous blonde's confidence more.

"You deny loving Yoruichi, so how about a bet?" It was at this point Momo stepped hesitantly to Soifon's defense.

"Please, Matsumoto, don't provoke her anymore." Soifon only answered with an icy glare.

"What sort of bet?", she ventured.

"Simple... You have one week to get together with a guy. If you can do it, I'll keep all my clothes on and help you with your division in my free time."

"And if I lose...?"

"You have do all the paperwork Toshiro dumps on me." Soifon considered it for a moment. The stakes were high, but she was pretty certain she could at least get a date.

"Fine." was the captain's clipped reply. A few surprised glances were thrown around the room. Soifon wasn't usually keen on gambling, but this was also a chance to prove she could get a man and she wasn't pining after her catty former teacher. "Now, I'm hot and tired and I'm leaving. Bye." At that, Soifon left the meeting hall and headed down the Seireitei's clean, white roads to her Division's Headquarters. Getting together with a guy couldn't be too difficult. Besides, it wasn't like she had to spend the rest of her life with the man she chose. Just one night wherever to prove she could. Not too hard...Right?

---

And so there ya have it! Chapter 1...Think it looks intriguing at the very least? Then stick around for Chapter 2 when an unexpected ally steps onto the scene to aid our romantically-impaired protagonist. With any luck, I'll have it up by tomorrow or the day after. Of course, if you could spare the time, I'd also appreciate some reviews and critiques and such...--big, cheesy smile--


	2. WhyMyAlly?

**Author's Note:** Well, seems this fic seems promising enough to people, so here's chapter two! I certainly hope it can live up to everyone's expectations. Not much happens in this one, but we're starting to get set up for a big plot point, so yeah...

I don't Bleach, and that's probably a good thing as I'm sure my version would be rather scary...

---

It was evening, and what was unbearable heat had now cooled to a slightly uncomfortable and sticky warmth. Soifon sat at her desk, quickly signing off a few reports in a set rhythm of initial-here-date-there-and-sign-on-the-line. She was almost done, almost home free (at least until the new load of paperwork was dumped on her desk). Finally, the last bit of paper was signed, initialed and dated and now sweet relaxation could begin. She slipped into her room, which connected to her office and quickly changed into an airy, lavender yukata. Just when the captain settled herself down on the bed with a book to get lost in, a heavy knocking pounded at her door.

"Captain!" a rough, bass-baritone voice hollered, "You have a visitor here!" the voice belonged to Soifon's gluttonous Vice Captain, Marechiyo Omaeda. With a roll of glacial silver eyes, Soifon reluctantly stood and opened the door. She was greeted with her Vice Captain standing at attention as well as Momo Hinamori, who looked nothing short of tiny up next to Marechiyo.

"You're dismissed Omaeda." Soifon said in clipped tones. As the man wandered off, she narrowed her eyes slightly in curiosity. "Vice Captain Hinamori," she greeted, tone only slightly warmer. "What can I do for you?" Momo's chocolate-brown eyes flickered briefly to the ground, as if she was ashamed to be here, then rose to meet Soifon's steady gaze once more.

"I...Want to try and help you. See, I really want you to win this bet because Rangiku, well..." Momo's gaze dropped again to the floor and her hands knotted nervously in the sides of her hakama. Soifon cocked an eyebrow.

"Vice Captain Hinamori, does this concern the story she told the rest of SWA last week? About the party and everything you said?" Brown eyes widened in horror.

"She told you guys too?" the poor girl was now embarrassed beyond all belief. "Anyways...She told Snowy about everything I said and, simply put, I need to get back at her." Soifon wasn't the only one who'd had too much to drink at the party. Momo was just as guilty and had said some, well, pretty un-Momo-like things. Rangiku, the surprisingly sober one, must have relayed all she said to her white-haired captain. "So, I figure if I help you out then you'll win and she'll lose and in turn I win. Um, sorta…" Soifon appreciated the offer of help, but she felt for some reason, this was probably something she should do on her own. The affair of romance was tricky enough without others dabbling around, trying to help.

"I...Really appreciate it, but it's best if I do this on my own, Hinamori." was Soifon's curt reply. For a heartbeat, Momo looked troubled, then burst out-

"But I already set you up!" It took the captain a good 30 seconds to fully process the girl's words.

"You...What?"

"Well, me and Renji, really... I told him about the bet, and he said he had to get Captain Kuchiki to loosen up so...Yeah, we sorta set you two up." Soifon was somewhere between angry, shocked and frantic.

"Wait, when did you plan this for?"

"Tonight."

"Tonight?!"

"Yeah, at the Akaboshi restaurant." At this, Soifon re-entered her room and flung herself face-first on the downy bed. Momo tentatively followed.

"Alright..." the silver-eyed shinigami murmured as she rubbed her temples, "Let me get this straight - You and Renji set me and Byakuya up for a date."

"Right." affirmed Momo with a definitive nod.

"Tonight."

"Right."

"At Akaboshi for dinner."

"Right."

"…Hinamori, what in heaven's name compelled you to do such a thing?"

"Errr...", began the vice captain, "It was sort of a spur-of-the-moment type thing." Soifon sat up and dug an angry fist into her pillow, followed by an odd, strangled growl-like noise. Suddenly, her icy eyes brightened.

"Wait! I already have a date tonight! That means I've already won! Matsumoto never said I had to get a guy on my own..." Momo looked troubled as she stood in the doorway.

"Yeah, see...That's I thought, too... But Rangiku really meant that you and whoever you take out have to be mutually satisfied with the date."

"But...She never said that to _me_! It can't be, it's virtually void!" Soifon cried.

"I know, but you really can't argue with her. Just try to make it through tonight. Maybe Captain Kuchiki will have fun..." Momo soothed, trying to relax Soifon.

"What will I do? What am I supposed to wear..." Soifon ran her fingers sulkily through her hair and hissed a sigh.

"That's the good thing!" Momo's tone was now bright and assured, betraying her earlier nervousness. "I have some clothes you could borrow that would be great for tonight, and I'll be able to help you from the restaurant if you get stuck. Plus, Renji'll be there to help Captain Kuchiki if he needs help."

"That's not exactly reassuring."

"Don't worry...Now, come on! You have three hours to get ready!"

"Three hours?! That's it?!" At that, the two set off to the 5th Division Headquarters. With Momo Hinamori at Soifon's side, what could go wrong?

...No, don't answer that.

-

"Hinamori?"

"Yeah?"

"Do I really have to wear this?" Soifon gazed at her reflection in Momo's mirror. She'd been dragged to Momo's room in the 5th Division HQ, where she was swiftly assaulted with a pile of potential evening wear. Now, she donned a saffron, calf-length cocktail dress and a pair of incredibly uncomfortable strappy heels.

"You look fine in it," Momo said with a beaming grin, "Don't worry."

"No offense intended, Hinamori, but these colors compliment you. Me, however..." Soifon's point was illustrated clearly in the disgusted 'ugh' she uttered upon looking once more at her reflection. In a sense, the captain was correct. Momo's tones were warm - russet hair and eyes to match and a slight golden tone to her skin. Even her demeanor was sunny and ardent for the most part. Soifon was just the opposite - all cold and icy tones. Hair as dark as night and slate eyes set in a pale complexion.

"Hmmm..." Momo placed a contemplative hand on her chin, "So the yellow isn't the best... How about..." once more the brown-eyed shinigami dug through her closet, sifting through countless garments and quite a few stray hangers. Finally, she plucked what she hoped would suffice from the closet's depths. "How about this?"

Soifon had to give her some credit - the new dress Momo held was better than the yellow abomination. It was a scarlet color - bright enough to catch the eye but not too loud, either.

"It might work...", Soifon murmured, running a critical eye over the fabric.

"Try it then", urged Momo, "I liked it, but the color was too intense for me."

"Fine, but at least turn around." Momo obediently turned around without a word as Soifon hurried to slip into the new outfit, almost tripping at least four times due to the infernal shoes that plagued her feet. Finally, she gave the O.K. for Momo turn around as she studied herself in the mirror. The vice captain's eyes widened.

"That one looks much better, Soifon!", she exclaimed, "What do you think?"

"It..." Soifon paused, as if she didn't want to admit this dress was a vast improvement over the previous one, "Works", she finished bluntly. Still, even Momo couldn't miss the miniscule, ghost of a smile on her face.

---

So, that's that! Next chapter should be longer as we see how Soifon's first date with Byakuya Kuchiki flies, and what Renji and Momo have planned to help out our hapless captains. Stay tuned to catch the next installment in "Seven Days of Love and Hate" and leave some reviews while you're at it (it would be muchly appreciated).


	3. THIS IS WHY WE'LL never WORK?

**Author's Note: **First of all, I wanna thank all my reviewers. Maybe it's because I'm new, but I can't say how glad I am that I actually made some people laugh and (more importantly) eagerly anticipate the next chapter. So, thanks everyone! Anyways, back on track here, I hope I didn't write Byakuya too off-character. I tried to keep him very composed and polite, but because of, well, the awkward scenarios I allowed him to drop that icy image and become a bit more flustered at time.

Still don't own Bleach...Nope, not even a bit.

That being said, here's Chapter Three of "Seven Days of Love and Hate". Do enjoy...

---

"They should be here by now." Renji Abarai snarled as he paced to and fro in the foyer of Akaboshi, drawing a few odd stares from other restaurant-goers. His companion, Byakuya, however, was the apparent picture of calmness. He stood quietly in the corner, arms coolly crossed over his chest and head slightly bowed. His choice of attire was just as cool - sharp, black slacks, a violet silken shirt that set off his eyes and a black jacket thrown over the ensemble. The trademark hairpieces stayed. Only the slight nervous edge in his eyes betrayed the cool and stony image.

"Relax.", was Byakuya's clipped reply, "I'm the one on the date anyway, thanks to you." Renji rolled his jet-black eyes.

"Eh, you needed it, O.K? You're waaaay too stiff and formal and - whoa..." It was at that moment Soifon and Momo rushed through the doors of the restaurant, the former clearly on the verge of tripping in her difficult footwear. Both men were shocked into silence. Neither had anticipated the duo could clean up so well. Momo had kept her girlish charm outfitted in a skirt, cardigan and camisole in shades of sky blue and lavender. Her hair was free from its typical bun and instead fell in waves about her shoulders.

While Momo was cute, Soifon was (dare they think it) drop-dead gorgeous. For the captain so often clothed in tattered robes, hair disheveled and body coated in a layer of sweat, she almost appeared a new person. A silver and garnet necklace (also Momo's) shimmered just below the hollow of her throat, drawing attention to the creamy skin and fine collarbones. The scarlet dress lent a curvier image to her rather straight physique and fluttered just below her knees, making short and slim legs look a mile long. Her ink-hued hair, though left in its typical style, gleamed with a thorough washing and conditioning. Yes, tonight she was the picture of charm and exquisiteness, a creature of unmatched grace. Until she tripped as she stepped into the foyer.

It was one of those moments in which time seemed to slow down for the sake of embarrassing you. To Soifon, everything occurred in slow-motion. She'd walked through the door, putting on her best seductive act as her innocent companion advised. She shifted her weight briefly to the right to take another step when the stiletto shoe and all its two-and-a-half-inches of surface area lost balance. And within those devastating four seconds, the poor woman was sent falling to the ground with a rather unbecoming squawking noise. It felt like an hour as every head in the general vicinity swiveled to see what had happened. Face hot with embarrassment, Soifon slowly began to stand again with a little help from Momo, who offered her hand for assistance. The captain quickly dusted off her dress and the icy-cool composure was back. Well, as much as she could salvage considering the recent chain of events. This was only the start of what would prove to be a very, um, interesting night.

"Play it cool, Captain." Renji hissed into his superior's ear with a smirk. Byakuya turned a hot violet gaze on him and then turned his attention once more to the two women who had just entered.

"Good evening Captain Soifon, Vice Captain Hinamori." he greeted, tone restrained and icily polite as he tactfully worked around Soifon's prior tripping.

"And good evening to you Captain Byakuya, Renji." Momo said with a smile. Swiftly, she turned and whispered to her companion, "Me and Renji won't be sitting with you two, but don't worry, I'll still be able to help. Just look past Byakuya if you need anything." Soifon was about to inquire further, but Renji and Momo were already being led off by a host, whispering under their breath. Byakuya and Soifon stood together in an awkward silence, before they were finally led to a small table tucked near the corner of the restaurant illuminated by a small, crimson, flickering candle. As if that wasn't bad enough, the whole table was decorated with a dusting of white and red rose petals.

_Ugh...How sappy can they get?_ Soifon thought, biting her bottom lip _Hinamori and Abarai probably set this up, as well... _Both shinigami now sat once more engulfed in the uncomfortable silence, each lost in their own thoughts of what to say and how to behave. It was quite amazing - two captain-class warriors who took down hollows on an almost daily basis nervous over a little date. As Soifon stared at the table, she noticed something out of the corner of her eye. A figure desperately waving to her from the table behind Byakuya. As she looked up, it all became clear. Familiar brown locks, blue-and-lavender outfit and a cheery disposition - Momo. The two sparked eye contact before Momo bent over something and appeared to be writing. After a few moments, she held up a quite large pad of paper that had 'I'll be helping you from here!' scrawled in black permanent marker. Soifon's eyes widened and Momo put down the pad and began writing once more. A few seconds later, she held up the pad that now read 'Don't look now, but Renji is also helping Byakuya from behind you.' For a moment, the silver-eyed shinigami gaped, then facepalmed. Renji and Momo had actually set this up that well? To book three tables in a line so they could pretty much walk the two romantically-impaired captains through this date? How clever...How cute...How ridiculously embarrassing...

"So, er - How are you tonight?" Soifon could tell Byakuya had asked the question at Renji's prompting as she stared past her shoulder and then flicked his gaze back to her.

"Um, fine." Soifon didn't need Momo's prompting to continue, "And you?"

"Fine..."

"Good..."

"Yeah..." Soifon noticed Momo's look of frustration behind Byakuya as she bent over the pad of paper and began to write something. However, Soifon decided to take conversation into her own hands.

"So...What do you do for a living?" she asked, feinting interest. Only once the words passed her lips did she realize how stupid a question it was.

"I'm a captain, Soifon. You know that, right?" his tone was slightly concerned, as if she wasn't all there tonight.

"Oh yeah! Sorry, just...Um, yeah..." She noticed Momo behind him bury her head in her hands, as if guiding her companion through the date was a lost cause. Luckily, the tension was broken by the waiter stopping by and asking about drinks as he passed each one of them a menu.

"Green Tea, please." Byakuya answered politely.

"Er, water. Thank you." Soifon responded. With a kind dip of the head, the waiter was off. By now, Momo had apparently recovered and was scribbling something new on the pad, as was Renji. Renji was the first to hold up his pad and Byakuya glanced over Soifon's shoulder to read it. 'Tell her she looks good.' read the pad in its bold marker.

"Uh, you look beautiful tonight." he ventured.

"No I don't." was Soifon's instinctive reply, but halfway through her sentence she saw Momo's pad flash into the air reading 'Thank Him!' "Er, I mean thank you!" she finished messily. Renji's pad was up as well, now reading 'Insist she does. Make it all poetic. Chicks like that.'

"You do," Byakuya insisted somewhat awkwardly, "Like... The North Star shines in the dead of winter." Soifon could hear a stifled cross behind a laugh and a snort behind her, obviously from Renji at Byakuya's cheesy, though somewhat endearing, remark.

_He's acting very bold for once being married..._ Soifon thought wryly, still trying to find the words she wanted to say.

"And you look..." Soifon managed to start. This was harder than she imagined - she wasn't used to complimenting people. "Nice."

"Ah, thank you."

"Yep..." the conversation, for the fourth time, tapered off and died. She glanced Momo momentarily stare past her, making an unspoken plan with Renji.

_I don't even WANT To know what they're planning now. _Soifon thought, mind running through countless ideas of what the two were plotting. Her train of thought was promptly interrupted by the waiter, who placed the drinks down.

"Have you two decided what you'll have?" Both ordered and the waiter was off with a smile, scurrying back to the kitchen. Over Byakuya's shoulder, Momo's pad was now in the air, reading 'Put your hand palm down next to the candle.' Wondering what in heaven's name the brown-eyed vice captain had in mind, Soifon warily set her hand near the candle while her other hand supported her chin. To some degree, it was a cute little pose. Perhaps the reason why Byakuya decided to go along with Renji's scribbling on the paper that read 'Put your hand on hers'.

Slowly, he reached out to touch her small hand, a graceful and fluid motion. Or, perhaps it would have been had his sleeve not brushed over the flame of the candle. He hadn't noticed until Soifon so tactfully pointed out his sleeve, was in fact, on fire. At that, Byakuya proceeded to bang his arm on the table, trying desperately to smother the fire. Things then went from bad to worse when the very candle that set Byakuya's sleeve on fire tipped over and the flames began to crawl slowly over the linen tablecloth, growing more intense as they devoured the off-white fabric. Renji and Momo simply looked shocked while Soifon stood up, armed with her cup of ice water. She splashed the water over the table and Byakuya, eliminating the fire with a slightly satisfying hiss. By now, virtually every set of eyes in the restaurant were on them. Slowly, the two took their seats, both wearing a slight blush despite their typical composure. Before too long, the waiter approached, wide-eyed as he looked over a soaking Byakuya, charred tablecloth and empty glass of water.

"Er, um...Can I get you another glass of water, ma'am?" he ventured.

"That would be great, thanks." Soifon responded, eyeing the glass while a deeper scarlet blush stained her cheeks. Neither of the two said anything, and both Momo and Renji were deep in thought, trying to figure out ways to salvage the date yet. After a good 20 minutes, the entrees' (along with Soifon's second glass of water) arrived. Both slowly tasted the dishes, savoring the exotic flavors and textures.

"So, how is yours?" Byakuya asked, finally shattering the silence. Soifon nodded as she swallowed a bite.

"Good...Very good, and yours?"

"Excellent." Suddenly, Momo's eyes lit up as she scrawled a new message on the paper. She raised it over her head and Soifon narrowed her eyes to read it. 'Offer him a taste of your dinner.' it cried in jet ink. Still a bit wary after their last suggestion, Soifon twirled some of the pasta she was eating on a fork and held it to Byakuya.

"Would you like to try mine?", she offered. There was a rustle of paper behind her as Renji's sign flashed to his captain 'Accept it'.

"Sure...Thank you, Soifon." He accepted her fork and tasted the dish, impressed with it's rich and creamy taste. "It's very good, what is it?"

"Shrimp Alfredo." she answered, graciously accepting her fork back. Byakuya's violet eyes widened, then narrowed.

"Soifon, are you serious?" The woman looked puzzled.

"Yes...Why?"

"This really isn't good..." Byakuya murmured, running a hand nervously through his inky mane of hair.

"What...? Why? What's wrong?" Soifon asked, edge creeping into her voice in the confusion.

"I'm allergic to shellfish."

"That really isn't good."

"I know." From there, it was a downward spiral. Soifon was frantically asking what to do and was getting more and more irritated under the pressure. Byakuya's flawless pale skin gradually began to break out, itchy pink hives marring the flesh. Both Renji and Momo now got up and were trying to help the doomed and miserable couple. Within minutes, the waiter showed up, followed by the manager as a whole mob of other restaurant-goers crowded about them watching with a mild degree of interest. No, it was not a very good night for captains Soifon and Byakuya.

-

Stars twinkled in the night sky and the moon hung close to the horizon in a thin, waning crescent. Soifon and Momo walked side-by-side down the streets as they headed towards the Second Division's Headquarters. Renji and Byakuya had gone their separate way - to the Fourth Division's infirmary.

"I cannot believe that was such a disaster." Soifon stated bluntly, eyes narrowed. After Byakuya's allergic reaction, the dinner fell to ruins.

"Alright...", Momo murmered, "So tonight didn't go too well...But you still have six more days to prove Rangiku wrong. I'm sure you can do it."

"Yeah..." Soifon looked away. Tonight with Renji and Momo's little plan, the dinner fell apart. But she kept feeling as if, under different circumstances, the plan would have helped. "Hinamori," she began, trying to set aside what little pride she clung to, "Would you...Would you be willing to help me again?" That was it, all of Soifon's ego was gone and she was left a hopeless and pitiful woman trying to win a bet. Momo's warm brown eyes widened.

"Really? After tonight you really want me to help again?"

"Well, it's not like I need your help, but it'd be best if..." Soifon didn't need to finish the sentence, Momo already understood. 'It'd be best if I had someone there to help me through this.' It was a request from a friend to a friend, coming from the woman who for decades after Yoruichi left had lived a solitary life, shut away from interpersonal relationships. And yet, Soifon's slightly abrasive response harbored a smile from Momo.

"It's O.K.", Momo began, "I'll stay and help. And together, we'll snag you a guy and prove Rangiku wrong."

"Um, thanks, Hinamori, and - Ummmphh!" Once more, Soifon tripped over the impossible heels her feet were crammed into. "No offense, Hinamori, but I want to burn these shoes of yours."

---

So, there ya go! Longest chapter yet coming in at some 2000 words, doubling the total length of my story. Anyways, Chapter 4 introduces another candidate for poor Soifon, which may or may not work out better. Who is it? Why, none other than our favorite psychotic captain, Kenpachi Zaraki! Excited? Intrigued? Downright disturbed and just wanting to see if he kills anyone? Keep watch for the next installment...

And of, course, leave a review if ya could spare the time...


	4. MATCH WAS MADE IN HELL

**Author's Note: **w00t! After a grueling first full week of school, I'm out! TGIF, people, TGIF! So what better way to celebrate the weekend than with an update? Yup, Chapter 4 is up and ready for your reading... How will our lovable protagonist fare in this chapter?

I don't own Bleach...Blah blah blah, now let's get on it with the story...

---

A good night's rest had done wonders for Soifon's body and mind. She woke up to slashes of sun pouring in her bedroom windows, bathing the room in warm golden light. She slowly slid out of bed and indulged in a cat-like stretch, every muscle of the body taut as she contemplated last night's events. Momo promised to stop by around noon and help her work out plans for another date. Which, in some twisted way, was a good thing. Last night had been the lowest of lows as far as mutually crappy dates went, so today's escapade was bound to be better, Soifon figured.

_Man, I'm starting to sound like an optimist..._ the captain thought wryly as she shed her nightclothes in exchange for her typical shinigami garb. As she trotted into the Division's kitchen to whip up a pot of coffee she did a mental review of all the things needed to be done... She had to officially promote her 6th seat, forward some documents to the 12th Division and submit a report to the First Division. Simple things that could easily be finished before noon. As she headed into her office with a mug of coffee in hand, she couldn't help feeling a little impatient. In some far off, tiny corner of her brain, Soifon was actually looking forward to whatever tonight may encompass.

-

"Nonononono... No way, Hinamori..."

"But I guarantee it'll be better than last night."

"Hinamori, I agreed to go on a date, not get killed."

"Oh, he's not gonna kill you, Soifon."

"I wouldn't put it past him!" Soifon hissed, voice dripping fury. When Momo came to talk with Soifon about planning the next date, she expected the brown-haired girl to come in and calmly and rationally discuss a plan for tonight as well as consider a list of guys who were, you know, not psychopathic. Instead, Momo waltzes in and tells Soifon she is all set to go for a moonlit beach stroll with Kenpachi Zaraki. How did Momo convince him to agree? What was his motive in accepting? Were there even any beaches in the Soul Society? And what did Soifon do to deserve this?

"If you just...Y'know, act sweet and stay on his good side, he's probably harmless. Besides, you're a captain, Soifon... Just take your zanpakuto and you'll be able to at least fend him off if he tries to murder you like you insist he will."

"Yes, because taking Suzumebachi to what's supposed to be a date is in great taste, Hinamori."

"Well, aren't you good in hand-to-hand combat?"

"Regardless, this is still a horrendous idea."

"Worse than last night?"

"Arguably." Soifon flung herself onto her bed, gazing at the ceiling. An awkward few minutes passed before Momo cleared her throat and spoke up.

"Look on the bright side..."

"There's a bright side?"

"I have the perfect outfit for you to wear."

"Crap."

-

It had the potential to be a very beautiful night. The sky was dusky purple, smeared with warm gold, fiery orange and vivid rose in the west where the sky met the sea. A few evening stars were even twinkling in the east portion of the sky. Unfortunately, Soifon didn't see it that way. As she trotted barefoot down the beach with Momo, keen eyes peeled for Kenpachi, all she could see was this sky taunting as she prepared for a night with perhaps the most bloodthirsty soul in the Seireitei (and a good portion of Rukongai as well).

"Alright, relax." Momo said, trying to calm the female captain's nerves, "It's a lovely night, you have a romantic atmosphere and you look great." Momo's choice of dress tonight for Soifon was a simple white camisole and an ankle-length, wispy skirt that fluttered about her legs in the faintest of breezes. This time, however, Soifon prayed she had shoes. Few things were more irritating than tiny grains of sand stuck between your toes.

"Relax when I'm due to end up chopped in pieces and thrown in the ocean…Of course, Hinamori. You have to understand, we were never exactly 'friends' and – oh crap, there he is…" Sure enough, the hulking silhouette of Kenpachi Zaraki was heading for them. He seemed normal enough, no visible sword, no psychotic grin and dressed simply in a pair of black denim jeans and an open, crisp white shirt that showed off a well-muscled and scar-crossed chest. And, to make things slightly better, he's left Yachiru back at the 11th division. Had she been there, the date would have gone from tense to hell in a handbasket.

"Hey, Captain Zaraki!" The spike-haired man cast a critical glance at Momo. He couldn't honestly say he had much respect for the diminutive vice captain. She was too kind, too quick to try for peace over a good, sweat and blood-laden fight. Soifon, however, had managed to earn herself a sliver of his elusive respect. Though they often clashed like fire and ice, the two had sparred once and the raven-haired woman was more than capable of getting a few hits in. Kenpachi's uncovered jet eye then swiveled to the 2nd division's captain. She looked so fragile and delicate tonight, though defiance burned like cold fire in her silver eyes. Tonight would prove to be…Interesting.

"Good evening, Captain Zaraki." Soifon greeted coolly, eyes sparking.

"Soifon.", he acknowledged in response.

"Ooooook, then," Momo said, slightly worried by the fierce tension crackling between the two, "If no one minds, I'm gonna leave you two to your date. I'll be down by the rocks just so everyone knows." At that, Momo turned on heel and set off at a brisk trot toward the rockier part of the beach where water slapped up against the large, jagged stones leaving foam in it's wake. If Byakuya were the graceful, undulating waves of where Momo left the pair, then Kenpachi was definitely these fierce splashes of water.

Meanwhile, both Soifon and Kenpachi found themselves in a sort of staring competition. Cold silver bored into onyx black and vice versa, both captain's making it clear not to piss the other one off. Finally, Soifon tore her eyes away from Kenpachi toward the horizon.

"It's a nice evening," she muttered, knowing she had to attempt to end this tension or the night would fall to pieces.

"Very nice," agreed Kenpachi with a forced smile and nod. Unfortunately, the smile made him appear more insane than pleased. Suddenly, awkwardly, he offered her one massive hand. His eyes avoided contact as she understood and slowly slipped her slim hand into his, lacing finger together. As he closed his hand, there was a small, sickening crunch and Soifon wrenched her hand away, the beginnings of a snarl on her face as she nursed her sore hand.

"What the hell was that for?", she hissed, eyes cold as ice. Kenpachi's expression suddenly turned to one of arrogance as his own visible eye blazed with the fire of a challenge.

"Sorry, I guess I just don't know my own power…"

"You…" she stopped there, studying him intently. Had he agreed to this date merely so he could argue and fight with her? Hell, she may have agreed to a formal fight happily had he asked her without putting on the whole romantic façade'.

"'Me' what?" Kenpachi taunted. It was now clear he was looking for a fight. For a moment, they both stood, bristling like angry dogs and slowly sizing the other up. Suddenly, Soifon's temper snapped and she aimed a swift kick at his chest. If he though her outfit would lessen her capability to fight, he had another thing coming. As if anticipating her actions, his hand shot out and caught her ankle before it connected with his torso. He then withdrew his zanpakuto, which had been hidden amongst his clothes.

"Hmm…So I take it romantic beachside stroll is out the window?" Soifon asked bitterly.

"I never thought you to be sentimental kind, Soifon." He retorted.

"I'm not, but if it's a fight you want…" Quick as a bolt of lightning, she withdrew her own sword that was hidden against her leg and undetectable in the wispy folds of the skirt. Despite what she had said earlier, Momo had convinced her to bring Suzumebachi if she was so paranoid. Never before had she been so thankful for the bun-headed vice captain's advice before. Taking advantage of Kenpachi's momentary surprise, she wrenched her leg out of his grip and darted off to the side and aimed a downward sword blow to him. Equally swift, he blocked her strike with his blade.

"Nice try." He growled as the fierce light of battle shone in his eyes.

"Thanks." She breathed as she darted around to his other side. Neither of them was out to kill the other, this was more a contest. A contest to see who would wimp out first, who would throw in the towel and forever be branded with the title 'The One Who Was Actually Sane And Gave Up'. Kenpachi dodged her blow and landed a haphazard strike of his own that slashed from her right-mid thigh to left knee.

_Ugh…Sorry for ruing your outfit, Hinamori…_ she thought as she took a brief glance at the new slit drawn through the skirt. Now, blood leaked from the cut and stained the snowy white fabric scarlet. It wasn't too long before Soifon got in a couple hits and the two were equally matched. Together, locked in the deadly dance of battle, they dueled until all traces of color in the sky vanished to be replaced by ink-dark black and a new moon. Both stood, panting, sweating and exhausted.

_And to think_, Soifon thought wryly _Of all the couples that visit this beach and end up panting and sweating, how many of them are doing so because they're trying to all but kill their date?_ They allowed the other a moment's rest to regain their breath before clashing swords again.

-

Momo had been enjoying herself. She was alone, but there was an odd peace to be found in watching the sky shift from pink to purple to navy to black while listening to the steady lap of the waves upon the stone. She sighed gently and suddenly her mind wandered to Soifon and Kenpachi, wondering if they were enjoying themselves. In some bizarre way, the two could actually work. Maybe. Sort of. Kind of. Not really…

_Yeah, maybe I should check up on them…_ thought Momo. With that, she slipped down from the rock she'd been sitting on and began walking toward the calmer beach where she left the two. She didn't have to go far – Soifon was limping toward her, Kenpachi no where in sight. For such a strong and capable captain, Soifon looked downright pitiful. Her clothes were slashed to little more than strips of ribbon that draped off her body, dyed bright red. With her clothes in tatters, quite a bit of skin showed through, but little of it was Soifon's natural milk-pale color. It was bruised in places and smeared with scarlet. Sweat ran down her face in shimmering trails, and Suzumebachi was clutched limply in her right hand.

"Soifon!" cried Momo, running over to steady the woman who looked ready to fall over. With an incoherent mumble of thanks, Soifon slowly lowered herself into the sand to sit down. "You look awful!" Momo said, voice shrill with concern. "What happened, did he- Did he…?" she left the words unsaid, but Soifon understood the context. She swallowed then raised her gaze to Momo, who was slightly relieved when she saw the fierce glitter of victory in her eyes.

"No, not at all," the weary and battered captain breathed exhaustedly, "Quite the opposite, we started sparring two minutes in and if you think I'm bad, you should've seen him." She nodded weakly to where she left Kenpachi passed out a ways back.

"Well, at least you're OK… The date pretty much went in the dumper, but you're in one piece, for the most part…" Momo mumbled, offering a hand so Soifon could stand. She accepted the girl's hand and was shakily raised to her feet. They walked a few steps before Soifon swayed on the spot.

"Ungh…Hinamori, I-" and with that the silver-eyed shinigami collapsed on the ground unconscious.

"Soifon!"

---

Hmmm...So we have a passed out Soifon, a KO'ed Kenpachi, a confused Momo and alot more surprises to come...I don't wanna reveal too much, but I can say next chapter's leading guy will be Jushiro Ukitake! We finally have someone who may prove to a be a bit more caring and tender, but will things still crash and burn? Or will they take a dramatic turnaround? Just keep your eyes peeled for Chapter 5...


	5. Mornings in Blu

**Author's Note**: Yow, sorry about not updating for awhile...First, I had a ton of homework I needed plow through --cough--APHistory--cough-- and then it was one computer problem after another. Luckily, I'll be getting a new laptop (17" Inspiron FTW!) soon so I won't have to worry abut these spontaneous shut-downs that keep happening. Yep...

Secondly, when I last updated and I said Jushiro Ukitake would feature in this chapter? I lied. Well, not purposely... Originally, I didn't plan this chapter but because of the way I want things to develop later, I needed to include this whole scene, which is half the reason it's so short. Don't worry though, as Jushiro will take center stage next chapter alongside Soifon in what's sure to be interesting, as well as perhaps a bit insightful...

I no own Bleach!

---

Soifon was vaguely aware of light, sunlight specifically, shining down on her through windows. Then, the icy, numb sensation that flooded her veins was gradually replaced with an achy soreness that permeated every inch of her being. Next, she realized she was cocooned in lavender-colored blankets and sheets – _her_ lavender-colored blankets - as her head rested upon a flannel pillow – _her _flannel pillow.

_So I must be in bed. _The female captain wearily deduced. Mind just as sore as body, Soifon tried to recall what happened the previous night. Sand… Water… Kenpachi… Momo… Swords… Night… The images flashed through her head at a rapid pace, and finally Soifon could piece together last night's events. She had been out on date with the 11th Division's captain and only a few minutes they were already matching blades. _That would explain the achiness…_The captain thought as she felt her stomach twinge uncomfortably _And Hinamori said last night would be better than dinner with Captain Kuchiki. At least with Byakuya, the next morning I wasn't half-dead..._ She made a slow, wary attempt to sit up, but the pain lancing through her limbs forced her to fall back down with a strangled grunt. Suddenly, Momo's mezzo-soprano voice was heard from the other side of the room.

"Oh, you're awake!" her tone hovered somewhere between relieved, excited and tired.

"Um, yeah awake…If _that's_ what you want to call it." Soifon's voice snapped back. She was not the kindest of shinigami when in pain. However, Momo seemed unphased by her biting comment and bounced back to trademark optimism.

"I wasn't sure if I should take you to the 4th Division or bring your straight back here, but it didn't seem like anything was broken, so I figured it would be best if you rested in your own bed." Soifon nodded dumbly as she glanced at her arms. They were wrapped in white gauze and cleaned of even the slightest trace of blood. With a glance under the blankets, she realized her whole body had been treated and she was dressed in clean and soft nightclothes. Momo noticed her confusion and quickly explained. "I also didn't want you going to sleep with all beat up and getting your bed all bloody. So I dressed all your wounds and changed you and everything and do you know how hard it is to try and a dress a limp body in clothes-" It was at about that point Soifon stopped listening, her face tinged with a blush-pink color. She _really _did not like people seeing her naked. The vice captain noticed the weary shinigami's expression and quickly stopped babbling to reassure Soifon, "Don't worry, I did it as quickly as possible and tried to look away most of the time.

"I guess I should thank you…" Soifon sighed gently as she turned over in bed. "It's just this is all so…Wrong. Is it me or does everyone have this kind of luck? I just don't-" She was cut off by a rapt knocking at the door and Marechiyo Omaeda's familiar booming voice.

"Captain! You have another visitor? Should I let her in?"

"May as well…" Soifon weakly called, voice wavering as her throat burned with effort. She half expected someone from the Fourth Division to try and check on her. Maybe someone from the 11th ready to threaten her for slicing their captain to ribbons (though everyone knew Kenpachi's constitution was incredible and a jagged, bleeding sword wound was little more than a papercut to him). But that wasn't the case. Oh no, not at all. Instead, in her doorway stood a voluptuous figure with waist-length strawberry-blonde hair and a pair of ice-blue eyes that contrasted with her fiery mane. As fate would have it, Rangiku.

"You!" snarled Soifon as she sat up in bed, pain forgotten though it surged through her body in electrifying waves. Rangiku's eyes simply widened as her mouth turned down in a tiny, confused frown as she took in the bristling woman before her. Momo's dark eyes flickered from one to the other as she briefly wondered if she should step in right now. Or maybe she should just hide. With the murderous energy that radiated from Soifon, you couldn't blame the russet-haired girl.

"Um, sorry." Rangiku apologized simply, though little remorse infused her voice. "I just wanted to stop by and make sure you were alright." For a moment, so brief Soifon barely caught it, a flicker of a smirk played over her lips. "Captain Zaraki is in the Fourth Division being treated, and he apparently got into a scuffle with you. I hoped you weren't injured too bad…" Unspoken words lingered after she finished 'Or else we'd have to call off the bet'

"You had _better _not mock me!" Soifon rasped, throat raw.

"Aw, now why would I do that?"

"Because… I don't know! I see you enjoying it!" Rangiku merely yawned at Soifon's response s she stepped further into the woman's room and leaned against the wall.

"Seriously, Soifon. I've heard, ah, rumors that you're not having much luck with my bet. So I'll give you a break and offer a proposition. You can give up right now and I'll only subject you to half the work my Captain gives me. Whaddya say?" For the briefest of moments, fierce tension lingered in the stuffy room. Then,

"No! No way! If you were afraid of losing, you should have never should have proposed the bet in the –" Soifon was interrupted by a painful cough before continuing in a hoarse voice, "- first place!" Rangiku shrugged in reply.

"Whatever…I was just trying to prevent any more…" She stopped there, as if searching for the proper word, "Accidents. Bye now!" With that and a suspicious smile, she was out the door and gone as the remaining two woman simply stared at where she had stood seconds before.

"Good riddance." Soifon rasped, still sitting up and on edge.

"That was…Strange." Momo muttered, brow furrowed as if deep in thought. "Didn't you hear what she said? She made it sound as if she was-"

"Hinamori, more likely than not she was trying to screw with my head. I've learned to take what that insufferable woman says with a grain of salt and – owwww…" She finally was beginning to feel the fierce ache creep back into her bones again and surrender as she flopped back down into downy covers.

"Maybe, but her words still seem odd…Usually, she's blunt and doesn't tend be so beat-around-the-bush-ish… Regardless, you should rest for a bit longer. You'll have to be in good shape for later."

"Wha…? Later, why?"

"Ohhhhhhhh… I didn't tell you?"

"Um, no. Please don't tell me what I think you're going to tell me."

"Yeah, alright then…See, I got ahold of Kiyone…"

"…And?"

"She talked to her captain…"

"…Alright?"

"And Kiyone and Sentaro managed to get him to agree to visit you later as a kind of um…Engagement."

"So, everyone _except _me pretty much invited Ukitake to come and sit in my room while I'm trying to recover and pass it off as a date."

"Well, we were sorta trying to aim for the whole passionate hospital visit theme, except without the hospital.", explained Momo

"You want me to get _passionate _with a captain who I know little to nothing about personally?" Soifon asked, somewhere in between skepticism and annoyance.

"Just bat your eyelashes a couple times and throw a few compliments around. I don't mean like, full-blown passion. I'm not saying you two have to get married and like, have sex." Soifon blinked, slightly surprised at the usually innocent Momo's bluntness "_Unless _you find there is a connection..."

"There won't be a connection."

"How do you know?"

"I just do." Suddenly, a knock at the door.

"Visitor!" hollered Marechiyo.

"Let 'em in…" yelled Soifon, anticipating Rangiku again who would return merely for the sake of harassing her. Instead, there stood the captain of the 13th Division – Jushiro Ukitake.

---

Eh, I personally hate this chapter. It's short and, by my standards, pretty poorly written. However, every time I come back and try to edit it, I just can;'t make it sounds any better. Regardless, if you suffered through this horrendous chapter, I can guarantee the next installment will be better. I kept the same sort of humor while adding a little bit of drama to spice things up...Because everyone loves drama!


	6. black AND white REMIX

**Author's Note**: Firstly, THANK YOU SO MUCH! Friday was sort of a crappy day for me, but coming home and reading everyone's reviews totally perked me up. I know it sounds random and trivial, but it feels so good knowing my writing is actually making people out there laugh.

Anyways, back on track here... You'll notice this chapter is the longest (some 3000-something words?) and takes a very different 'tone' than the previous chapters. The humor is still there, but I really tried to show the development of Soifon's character a bit, as well as bring in what I hope to be an intriguing subplot with Yoruichi (though I can guarentee this will NOT become YoruSoi, as that's what I was trying to avoid in the first place). Also, this chapter is the product of three nights spent up WAAAAY too late while I put off my History and Math homework, so if there are any typos or grammatic issues, I apologize profusely. I'm also quite partial to Jushiro (He's such a kewl character!) so I hope I wrote him at least somewhat in character, htough I can;t help but feel NO ONE is exactly "in-character" int he abomination of mine...

Still don't own Bleach... Maybe Kubo should consider setting up a Bleach stock system? I'd buy into it. :)

---

Soifon and Momo simply stared at the white-haired man. Incredibly early, there Jushiro Ukitake stood in the doorway of Soifon's room, a crooked smile upon his lips and a wicker basket filled with what appeared to be candy in his arms. Suddenly, two heads popped up behind the white-haired captain, one male with a bizarre black 'horned' hairstyle and a rope about his forehead and one female with closed cropped gold-blonde hair and violet eyes. Sentaro and Kiyone had followed their captain along… This could lead to nothing but trouble. Already, the pair of over-enthusiastic third seats were spewing off a mixture of affectionate teasing, innuendo, romantic tips, something rather random about ducks and general babbling peppered with arguing. Jushiro's smile faltered a bit as his warm brown eyes connected with Soifon's pools of mercury, a jolt of sympathy snapping between them. Finally, Sentaro's lips curled into a devilish smile as he nudged his captain somewhat roughly in the side.

"Heh, lookit that, Captain… She's already in bed, saves you a step, eh?" Immediately, Kiyone leapt into her own spiel.

"Shuttup, Sentaro!" she snarled, "Captain is a very virtuous man and wouldn't try to take advantage of Captain Soifon's injuries, riiiiiiiight?" Her tone turned honey-sweet as she gazed up at him with adoring violet eyes.

"Come _on_, booger-girl, what do you know about our Captain? Are you a guy? NO!"

"Still! I know a helluva lot more about him than you! You wouldn't know Captain if he Sogyo no Kotowari'ed you in the butt!'"

"You wish! I respect him more, so nyeh!"

"No way! I respect Captain more than anyone else in the universe! "

"Yeah, keep talkin', but we both know I know him better!" Their arguing turned to shouts that rattled the glass windows. Finally, Jushiro inhaled sharply before barking out their names.

"Kiyone Kotestsu and Sentaro Kotsubaki!" his tone was unusually sharp, commanding. "Silence!" They both fell into an awkward silence, staring up at the white-haired man with guilty eyes. "Now…" his tone softened considerably, "Listen… I realize you both are concerned, but with Captain Soifon's state your hollering is the last thing she needs." Soifon opened her mouth to protest, tell them she _wasn't _a sickly little thing, but quickly closed her mouth upon realizing that snappy comments wouldn't help at all. Nodding heavily, Kiyone and Sentaro shuffled out the door.

"I'll go and see if they'd like something to drink," Momo offered, searching for a reason to leave the room. "I'll…See you two later." With that, she scurried out the door, taking extra care to softly shut it. For a moment, silence reigned, hanging in the air like a heavy fog. Then, Jushiro edged closer to Soifon as he held out the basket.

"Ah, yes, Captain Soifon. This is for you…" Slowly, Soifon graciously accepted the basket with a murmur of gratitude. How could she refuse? The basket held at least three solid bars of white chocolate, one of the few sweet things she enjoyed. She opened one of the bars of milk-pale chocolate and took a tiny nip of it, savoring the rich flavor. For a few moments, she let her pain, stress and misfortune melt away like the chocolate in her mouth. A tiny 'mmm' escaped her throat. It was then a deep chuckle form Jushiro snapped her back to the current.

"Enjoy it, Captain Soifon?", Jushiro asked, eyes sparkling as humor crept into his voice. Soifon, embarrassed and annoyed at being caught with her guard down, felt a hot blush seep into her cheeks before swallowing and nodding faintly.

"Yes, very good… Thank you, Ukitake." He smiled and nodded, and for the briefest of moments, Soifon could have sworn she heard _giggling _on the other side of her door. Heavens, what were Kiyone and Sentaro thinking? She sighed and ignored it as she flopped back onto her back in bed. "Just so you know, you can drop the 'captain'. We're both the same rank." Usually, Soifon loved being addressed by her title, but now it sound made speech sound awkward. And hey, maybe scrapping the titles would make this little get-together more (retch) intimate, without actually _being _intimate.

"O-oh…Alright, Soifon." The words felt odd on the white-haired captain's tongue.

"Tell me," Soifon began as she stared absently at the ceiling, "Why did you decide to come today?" There was a miniscule sigh and the woman felt Jushiro perch himself at the foot of her bed.

"Kiyone and Sentaro… They really wanted me to come. They insisted it would be good for me. Of course I wanted to make sure you were OK, the loss of a captain of your caliber would be a huge blow to the Soul Society's force, but…I guess I just wanted to please my subordinates."

"So it had nothing to do with me, like, romantically."

"I-I'm sorry…I can't honestly say it did." Soifon closed her eyes at his response. She wasn't upset with it. Heck, she was happy he'd said what he had. If anyone actually harbored any true emotion in this whole week-long charade, it would be…Well, awkward.

"That's probably for the best," she stated matter-of-factly, "Listen… Ukitake, would you be willing to do me a huge favor?" His coffee-colored eyes turned on her, curious. In a way, Soifon felt as if she was cheating by asking him this.

_C'mon, girl… _she thought to herself _It isn't 'cheating', just an alternative method of winning a bet. Ukitake is a kind man, he'll understand. _

"Could you just say you enjoyed today? You can leave right now if you want, just please say you had a good time…" Crap, she was back to pleading. At the end of this week, her pride would be reduced to little to nothing. Soifon expected Jushiro to laugh it off, agree and then depart. Instead, a brief flash of concern glimmered in his eyes. This was going to get weird. Why did he have to be so freaking concerned?

"You're so intent of getting rid of me?" The concern was briefly eclipsed by a shot at humor, "I figured you'd perhaps at least enjoy some company, even if it wasn't…" He struggled for the right word. "Intimate."

"It's not that I don't _want _your company, per se…It's just most 'dates' with me, even when they're really not even dates, turn to turn out for the worst." Brief images of last night and the night before that flashed through her mind.

"Now come on." he said with a chuckle as he turned to face her, "A pretty one like you? How could things go wrong?" Soifon resisted the urge to leap up and kick him in the nose as she sat up. She was a pissy, anal-retentive captain. She was not _pretty_.

"Ukitake, I thought you weren't here in search of romantic pursuit."

"I'm not." He said, shrugging, "I was simply stating a fact. Do I have to be head-over-heels in love to state you're attractive?"

"Well, I guess not, but it's still rather awkward and-" She felt a sudden, feather-light touch on her jawline that swept away a few strands of rogue hair. She glanced at Ukitake, who pushed away the strands with a neutral gaze, holding no emotion other than his usual friendliness. And yet, the touch ruffled Soifon. Not because here she was, her face being nearly caressed by a captain she hardly knew, but because of the strong memories that came with it…

**Flash to Past**

"Ms. Yoruichi… " the young Soifon reported, kneeling at the feet of her idol, "I'm so sorry I'm late! Could you forgive me, please? I know I'm-" Soifon felt a cocoa-colored finger pressed over her lips as Yoruichi Shihouin chuckled.

"Aw, chillax Soifon… I'm not going to gut your for being late. If you knew how many times I was late for stuff, I'm sure you'd lose a great deal of respect for me. Though it wouldn't be a bad thing, you're so uptight as it is…" Soifon bowed her head. She'd been assigned to guard the dark, catty woman as she always had. Unfortunately, however, a rather troublesome assassination attempt had hindered her arriving on time. Though it was easy enough to take care of the assailant, Soifon had been more than a few minutes late to meet the head of the Special Forces. "Now," Yoruichi continued, voice lowering in pitch as it took on a mock-serious tone, "It's time you receive a lesson in etiquette."

"Etiquette?" Soifon squeaked, "I-I'm sorry! I know, I tried to call you 'Commander' but you didn't like that! And I know in your presence I should-"

"Now, would the Little Bee listen before jumping to such silly conclusions? For one, it's impolite to use _any _titles when a noble requests for them not be used."

"So no 'Commander'?"

"No, and no 'Ms.' either…"

"Oh…"

"Second! Every time you're in my presence, you get nervous and shaky and, to be honest, it might remind one of how a kidnapper or assassin behaves before they make their move." Soifon's eyes widened and her tongue felt like lead as she tried to furiously justify herself. She _idolized_ Yoruichi. _Worshiped _her. And if she didn't know better, she'd even say she _loved _the woman she was assigned to guard. As her protégé stumbled over words, Yoruichi's molten-gold eyes sparkled with laughter. "Of course you wouldn't try to kill me, but some people might not see it that way. So _relax_, stop being so uptight. Try and see me as a friend, rather than an object to protect."

"But I see you as more than that!"

"I know." And the same fingers that were previously pressed against Soifon's thin lips fluttered down to her jawline and wisped across the fine line that defined her face. "You're like a sister to me, Little Bee, and if I mean anything of the sort to you, you'll try and carry through my requests?"

"But it's hard…I respect you so much…"

"And maybe the greatest sign of respect is abandoning it altogether."

**Flash to Present **

Soifon didn't move his fingers, but she sat down with her head bowed, choking back a sob. Why had her former mentor showed up in her mind _now_, of all times?

_No! _she thought fiercely to herself _I do not love Yoruichi, and I never did… And I can't…I can't let another captain see me so weak. _

"Stop." She growled, voice taut as she forced the sob back down her throat. Alarmed, Jushiro pulled back, eyes wide.

"I'm sorry… I didn't mean it like-"

"No…" Soifon hissed, head still bowed to hide the redness that crept into her silver eyes, "You didn't do anything. I just need a moment to… Compose myself." And Jushiro nodded agreeably. Minutes past and the swollen red vanished from her eyes, the frustrated sobs halted and her racing heartbeat slowed to a steady rhythm.

"Is there anything I can do?" Jushiro ventured. Soifon raised her head, now the perfect picture of calmness.

"The injuries must have affected my head…" she breathed. "N-nothing more."

"You just sound…Awfully shaken."

"It's just…" Soifon hesitated. Did she dare confide in him? If not, who else would listen? It was then the realization hit her… There were more people than she realized who would hear her out, try and understand the storm of emotions locked inside the icy Captain's shell. Jushiro…Momo… They were just the start. Would it hurt to open up, even just this once?

And so she did. For the first time, Soifon found herself pouring her heart out, explaining all she'd endured in the past centuries. In doing so, she felt as if she could start anew, from scratch. Jushiro had put up with it well, knowing when to nod and listen and when to offer commentary. Finally, after a solid 15 minutes of detailing her life story, Soifon paused and glanced at Jushiro.

"You're actually putting up with me?"

"Why not?", he asked, "I'm helping, right? I suppose it's the least I could possibly do for throwing you into such a shock."

"It wasn't so much a shock as it was a…Bitter rekindling of a memory." Snatches of that very memory darted through her mind once more. She quickly pushed them away, trying to focus on the here and now – the present. Things had improved since the long talk with Jushiro, and it seemed as if this encounter was actually going…_Well_. No one had been lit on fire, allergic reactions were nil, both of them were still conscious and they weren't slicing each other to ribbons. And yet, some sadistic, dark little bit of Soifon's mind kept telling her that things couldn't possibly keep going so smoothly. Desperate to push the thought of this getting ruined form her memory, Soifon gestured to the basket filled to the brim with copious amounts of saturated sugar.

"I know you gave it to me, but I don't think I could possibly eat so much sweet food…"

"Oh." Jushiro looked surprised, but then an expression of gratitude melted into his features. Jushiro himself was partial to candy – it was half the reason he felt it necessary to dump pounds of it upon countless other shinigami. "Well, if you're sure…I don't exactly feel very chivalrous, mind."

"Trust me, Ukitake, if I expected chivalry, I wouldn't be in half the messes I'm in in the first place. Consider it thanks for hearing me out when I was on that, um, tangent." With that, she held out the basket with slightly aching arms as he humbly plucked a bar of milk chocolate peppered with almonds from the mass of snack food. For a few moments, they sat chatting nonchalantly, Jushiro nibbling on the chocolate. Once more, the telltale giggling sounded from behind Soifon's door.

_Screw those two…_ the Commander thought bitterly. _What the hell do they think is going on? No… Don't answer that. _However, her train of thought was interrupted by a choked coughing noise. Mercurial eyes glanced up to see Jushiro in the middle of, what appeared to be, a bout of his bloody coughing. However, no blood came up.

"Ukitake, are you alright?" She got no response, only frantic brown eyes trying to tell her something as he gestured vaguely at his throat and mouth. She cocked her head… The wheels turned for a few minutes…

Crap. The Captain of the 13th Division was choking on an almond.

Soifon leapt out of her bed, feeling stabs of pain blaze through her legs as she nearly collapsed and her yukata slip off one shoulder as the roughly-tied obi unraveled and fluttered to the ground.

_My legs and my clothing are the least of my worries right now... Yamamoto'll have my head on a silver platter if he find one of his star students dead in my room, _the raven-haired captain thought. At least she had her priorities straight.

Like the wind, she was behind him, trying to recall the motion of the Heimlich maneuver she'd been taught in the bodyguard classes when she was training for Yoruichi.

_Please don't let me kill him instead,_ she prayed to no one in particular as she wrapped slim arms around his abdomen. She gave one experimental thrust, hoping she didn't further complicate the problem. The low-pitched, gurgling sound in his lower esophagus wasn't exactly reassuring. Soifon continued to deliver abdominal thrusts, each one not particularly seeming to be very effective. As if things couldn't get worse, the door to the room suddenly flew open to Momo's voice.

"We heard some weird coughing noises and…" Silence. Kiyone, Sentaro and Momo all stared at the pair with a certain degree of interest. Admittedly, Jushiro and Soifon were locked in a very suggestive pose, no fault of their own. Soifon kneeled on her bed, Jushiro propped limply against her front as her arms wrapped around his torso. The forgotten sash on the ground and her half-open yukata didn't help the situation either.

"Whoa… Go Captain!" Sentaro cried.

"No! You haven't won yet Sentaro!" Kiyone snarled as she turned to him, bristling.

"So I guess there _was _a connection…" Momo mused to herself. After delivering one more thrust, Soifon whipped around, her eyes blazing cold fire.

"You fools!" she growled, "Stop acting like perverted morons and get over here and help me! Can you not see he's _choking_?!" There a chorus of 'Ohhhh…' before the three others rushed onto the scene. Sentaro pushed Soifon aside and onto the ground before he took over the Heimlich-ing, while Jushiro turned a rather discomforting shade of purple. Kiyone was in the black-haired woman's face, screaming about killing 'her beloved, just, honest, kind Captain'. Momo just stood there, asking if she could do anything over and _over _again. Sentaro had some success and the almond shot out of Jushiro's mouth, ricocheted off the wall and hit Momo in the eye, who stumbled backwards into Soifon who was trying to re-clothe herself properly. Kiyone now abandoned screeching at the 2nd Division Captain to join Sentaro in shaking Jushiro's shoulders, trying to wake him from what appeared to a state of unconsciousness. It vaguely resembled a scene from some bizarre cartoon as all hell broke loose.

-

"Thank you _so _much…" Soifon muttered to Retsu Unohana as the healer slowly propped a pillow under an unconscious Jushiro's head as he lay upon a stretcher. "We managed to dislodge the almond, but the shock of it must have sent him over the edge." The woman with the plaited hair nodded, understanding shining in her dark eyes. After they had freed the almond from Jushiro's throat, Soifon, Momo, Sentaro and Kiyone managed to hoist him into the Second Division's lounge, upon which they contacted the Fourth Division to come and take a look at the snowy-haired shinigami.

"No need to worry…" Retsu soothed, "Incidents like this happen rather often, and are easily cured. That means you two can stop weeping." Her gaze swept over to Kiyone and Sentaro, who were sobbing as they stared at their fainted captain's form. "He won't die, of that I'm certain, but due to the severity of the choking and his own illness, it may be a week before a full recovery."

"A week?" Momo chimed in. "That long?"

"If it were just his body, it wouldn't be quite so bad. However, when passing out, oftentimes the reiatsu is disturbed and requires the bearer to sleep while it sorts back out." Her eyes turned to Soifon once more, "Which is half the reason you feel so off right now. You didn't give your body proper time to rest. Luckily, for you the recovery time should be shorter since you don't need to take into account any terminal issues."

_Does horrendous luck with dates count? _Soifon thought bitterly as she watched the Fourth Division members wheel Jushiro out the door, a sobbing Kiyone and Sentaro in their wake.

"For your own health, Captain Soifon, try to relax." The Fourth Division captain said softly before departing.

For a few moments, both she and Momo stood there, unable to think of anything to say and unable to find any reason to say anything in the first place.

"I'm going back to bed," Soifon finally announced. It was around 3:30 PM, so she'd have quite awhile to sleep off the effects of last night yet. After the hell she'd put up with in one day, you couldn't blame the poor woman. Momo watched her depart, knowing full well now was really _not _a good time to try and reason with Soifon.

_I hope she gets a good rest, _Momo thought _For what's lined up tomorrow, I think she's gonna need it._

_---_

Le gasp! What _is _lined up for the next chapter? Expect to see some advancement with Soifon's Yoruichi-issue, as well as a snippet from Rangiku's perspective. Not only that, but we get the whole deal involving candidate number 4, everyone's favorite wolfy-captain, Saijin Komamura. Reviews, expecially since this chapter strays a bit from the overall tone, would be loved and rewarded with plushies and muffins, 'cuz everyone LOVES plushies and muffins...


	7. Club Beatz

**Author's Note:** Wow, sorry for not updating in awhile. I orginally drafted this chapter in a notebook in school, typed up the bulk of it there and finsihed it up and did a crappy job of editing here at home. So, yeah. I hope it was worth it however, since this chapter is absolutley huuuuuge for me, weighing in at a solid 6000 words. So if there's any crack KomaSoi shippers out there, you'll have a field day with this one. Maybe.

I don't own Bleach. But I DO own a shiny new copy of Volume 21 of it that I bought today. That's gotta count for something.

---

Ah! Ms. Matsumoto! Sooo… What brings you here at such an hour?" inquired Kisuke Urahara as he leaned on his store's rather cluttered counter. In his doorway stood Rangiku, the dusky-grey hues of this rainy morning just barely silhouetting her curvy physique. The strawberry-blonde walked further into the shelter of the store, shoes sloshing and rain-water dripping from her clothes.

"Listen, Kisuke…" she said, voice tinged with urgency as well as some other indistinguishable emotion as she planted her hands firmly on the counter, "I'm gonna need a gigai for tonight." The blonde storekeeper's eyes flickered over her as he cocked a single eyebrow.

"You will? Looks to me as if you already have one."

"Not for me!"

"Then for who?" Rangiku rummaged through her sopping clothes, but succeeded in recovering a few damp, warped pieces of paper. The papers exchanged hands, and Kisuke was taking in the contents with wide, grey-ice eyes. "You're telling me the captain of the 2nd Division needs a gigai? From what I recall, she's not quite the type to go prancing through the living world."

"She's not, but I was told by my captain she needed one made. All want to know is is it possible or not?"

"Oh, it's possible." He began to sift through the piles of paper on the counter, finally selecting a staple-bound stack. "But on such short notice, all we can offer is a C-grade or D-grade… Will that be an issue?"

"Whatever's the cheapest'll work."

"That would probably be a D-grade, but… Those are known to occasionally have small control issues when not fully broken-in. Y'know, small, unexpected twitches and slow response. Not a problem?"

"Oh, not a problem in the least." Despite the seemingly serious tone, a trace glimmer of satisfaction danced in her blue-grey eyes and amusement seeped into her voice.

"OK, let's see here… Need any extras? Extra muscle power, enhanced vision…?"

"Like I said, whatever's cheap. No extras."

"Hnn… Fine then." He scribbled down a figure on a scrap piece of paper and handed it to her. "There's your total. It should be ready by five or six tonight, 'K?"

"That'll work great… I'll be by later with the money. And don't break your back with this one, Kisuke, it doesn't have to be great at all. After all, Soifon would be horrified if she found out you overworked yourself on a temporary body." And with that, she departed the shelter of the store back out into the rain, but not even the chilly water drumming on her back could bring her down right now.

"I've gotcha now, Soifon…" she sighed happily to herself. "The gigai in production is hardly fit for a few minutes in the living world… By the end of tonight, you'll have made such a fool out of yourself you'll have to just accept I'm the winner_. I _simply do not lose bets."

-

Soifon's sleep was fitful – through the night she'd waken to find her brow damp and sticky with sweat and her heart racing. At one point, she'd woken up near screaming about some nightmare concerning a kitten, a bee hive, a broken plate and a duckling. If it was any consolation, however, the ache that nipped at her bones did eventually fade off and give way to a new sort of restless strength. Restless enough that at four in the morning she lay awake, too alert to fall back to sleep and too tired to get out of bed.

And so she lie, thinking.

_Let's see_, the shinigami mused to herself_ I've successfully incapacitated three of the 13 captains. Scratch that, two. Captain Kuchiki is probably fine now. But still, if there were a mass Hollow attack, would I be blamed for depleting our power if we lost? _She rolled over in bed, further entangling herself in the covers _Would I be cast out? Or demoted? Should I just give up now? This seems a bit much all to prove a point to Matsumoto... _And yet, Soifon's fierce pride wouldn't allow her to give up so easily. She had made a commitment, and she planned to see it through until the end. Until she _won_.

Finally pushing back the fatigue that lingered in her mind, Soifon slowly sat up and wandered into her office to see if there was any recent paperwork that could be done. Paperwork could de-stress. Paperwork was g_ood. _She opened the window, letting in the glow of the first traces of dawn that seeped over the horizon. From there, it wasn't too long before she found herself in the steady read-initial-date-sign rhythm of paperwork. The piles, relatively short this time, gradually began to thin out as two hours wore on. Then, she stumbled across something that seemed odd, out of place. A lucid, neon-pink sheet that was printed with ink rather than hand-written by brush. Slowly, glacial-silver eyes scanned the document. It was a request to create a gigai for her should the need 'ever arise, especially with the threat of Aizen's army'.

_Urahara. _She thought bitterly. However, it didn't seem to be that much of a problem. It wasn't addressed to her specifically, save for her name scrawled at the top of paper, and looked pretty generic, something that would go out to all captains. Besides, Kisuke's gigai were high-quality and if she ever did need one, he was probably the man she'd consult. So, with a quick few strokes of the brush, she signed her name and verified and moved on.

-

Sunlight glared through the windows when Soifon had finished with all the work. She asked Omaeda take care of assigning tasks to her division – heavens help them – as she wolfed down a quick breakfast of a croissant and some tea and set out herself to deliver the paperwork to the First Division's Headquarters. It went smoothly and within minutes she was on the way back to her Division – until running into an unexpected roadblock outside the Fifth's Headquarters. There Momo stood, chatting idly with Saijin Komamura, who dwarfed the diminutive vice captain. She tried to slip by the duo, but the bun-headed shinigami quickly caught her.

"Hey! Soifon! Could you come over her really quickly, please?" Soifon knew very well she could play the captain card. The 'Sorry-I-have-work-to-get-done-and-can't-talk-now' card. Then she quickly realized it would be ineffective considering how much time she spent out of her Division already. So, discontented, she joined them.

"Yes?" was her curt and clipped reply.

"I was just talking to Captain Komamura here about the plans you two had for tonight."

"I have plans?" Soifon asked, genuinely thrown off. Momo shot her a glance laced with a pleading and the familiar 'play-along-with-me' emotion. The least Soifon could do was trust her. "Ah, yes… Plans. Sorry, memory lapse…"

"Captain Soifon." The canine-shinigami regarded with a dip of his great, tawny wolf's head, "I'm honored to be your companion for tonight, and simply wanted to say I look forward to this evening. Now, thank you for your time, I must be off."

"Um…Alright." Soifon muttered, confused, as Saijin departed. Her icy-hued eyes turned to Momo. "I take it you set this up?" There was little of the previous puzzlement left in her voice, only exasperation.

"Well, yes." Momo admitted , "But I have this feeling you'll really hit it off with Captain Komamura. I mean you're both very…" she paused, searching for a word to describe them, "…Loyal."

"Loyal?"

"Yes, like, you both follow the rules a lot."

"Ah… I'm not sure I even want to know, but what did you plan for tonight?" The vice-captain's brown eyes brightened, as if she was insanely proud of her ploy.

"I talked to Ichigo and the others, and they had the perfect idea! Apparently, there's a really nice nightclub in their town, so I decided to set you guys up to go to there. I even talked to Snowy and he says he could get Kisuke to create a gigai for you, since Captain Komamura already had one made just in case." Momo explained, the excitement of her plan still ringing clear in her voice. Soifon wasn't particularly _crazy _about the idea, being packed in a dark room with dozen of sweaty and drunken people, but she wasn't totally against it either. She had to admit, the living world was interesting and with the luck she'd been having, things could only go uphill from here.

"So I take it that's what the bright pink form was about?" For a moment, Momo looked puzzled and then responded.

"Ah, yes… They went out to the others a few months back, but Kisuke didn't think you would need one since your job mainly entails staying here… Oh, by the way, I checked with Captain Unohana this morning and apparently Captain Ukitake is stable, but will still be out of it for awhile."

"So he won't be able to vouch for me?" Soifon asked, feeling somewhat guilty at only thinking about the bet now.

"Sadly, no… Also, Kiyone is sending you death threats."

"Great." Soifon sighed, though knew full well the hotheaded blonde wouldn't ever remember to carry through with a death threat and would bounce back to normality within two days.

"Anyways, yeah… I figured I should let you know. Around 6:00 tonight come to the North Gate and we'll transfer over to the living world and get you in a gigai. Captain Komamura will come over a bit later and meet you at the club. Alright?"

"I guess…"

-

The transfer to the living world had gone smoothly, as well as the transfer into the gigai. The responses were a bit rusty as Soifon slipped into come clothes – a black tank-top, red short-sleeved half-hoodie, sand-colored cargo pants and some sleek black sneakers– but overall workable. When she was finally dressed, she stood up and opened the sliding door to the main portion of Kisuke's store. Momo was chatting with Kisuke as he restocked the shelves. When he turned around, he spotted the black-haired captain and grinned.

"So, Captain, how's it working?"

"Um, good." She muttered as she flexed her hand, "The control takes a bit, but it's not totally unusable, I suppose."

"Well, on such a short order, I couldn't pull off the highest design, but I assure you I gave it a full and complete runover!" His hand curled into the 'A-OK' sign as Soifon glanced down at the faux body, really not wanting to know how it so accurately resembled her - right down to the small scar an inch below and to the right of her navel. She brushed the thought aside and fidgeted. The sensation of being in this gigai was odd - it felt as if she had to think to perform actions that otherwise should have been perfectly natural.

_Do all gigai feel like this_, she wondered as her left hand twitched and then fisted involuntarily. _Or is it just because this one was on such short-order? _However, her thoughts were quickly brought to a standstill when she felt a semi-heavy force collide with her back. The force brought her to her knees and she looked behind her, ready to lash out at the attacker.

She never got the chance.

A sleek, black feline sat, innocently washing a forepaw as if nothing had happened. Molten-gold eyes fixed themselves on Soifon.

"Hey, Little Bee." the creature said, voice low and masculine. With an unexpected poof and a few wisps of grey-white smoke, a dark-skinned woman sat where the cat had, rubbing her neck.

"Ah…Y-yoruichi…" Ever since they together attempted to restrain Aizen, the two hadn't seen one another. But now, seeing her former mentor, Soifon felt her voice fail her. Or maybe it was just the low vocal capabilities of the gigai. It really was quite a toss-up.

"Aw, I come all the way to see you and all I get is a 'Ah…Yoruichi'? I'm hurt Soifon!" she crossed her arms over her chest in mock hurt and curled dark lips into a pout. Kisuke sighed as he tossed her an old sweatshirt he dug up from behind the counter.

"C'mon Yoruichi… You did not come 'all this way', you came from just down the hall. Now, get some clothes on!" The catty woman stuck her tongue out playfully at him before obediently pulling the oversized sweatshirt over her head. Momo hesitantly glanced up the clock hanging on the wall and then to Soifon.

"Soifon, we should probably head out… Captain Komamura will be at the club pretty soon." Soifon cast a glance at the clock, followed by a tiny, wistful look towards Yoruichi, as if apologizing for already having to leave.

"Alright…" The captain sighed, "I suppose. Thank you, Urahara. And I apologize for having to leave so early, Yoruichi."

"Eh, don't worry about it," Yoruichi said with a lazy smile as she settled into a cross-legged position. "I have no idea what you're planning with Saijin, but I expect to hear about it when you're done, 'K?"

And with that, Soifon and Momo departed, ready for whatever techno-laden, sweat-scented, neon-bright hell that awaited them.

-

It wasn't _too _bad. Not exactly her cup of tea, but not too bad.

ReVerb, the club's name, had a very hip and modern feel to it. Strobe lights pulsed to the beat of digital techno and neon signs lined the walls, giving a surreal feel to the otherwise dim space. Momo had decided to wait nearby at a local café (unable to convince ReVerb's staff she was old enough; it's not as if she _looked _centuries old) while Saijin and Soifon took in all the lights and sounds. In some bizarre way, they were actually beginning to appreciate the club's atmosphere, the way it pulsed and writhed with unbridled life. Both captains, usually restrained and reserved, were beginning to come out of their shells a little more. Saijin, however, did collect a few intrigued stares from other club-goers; it wasn't often they saw a massive, wolf-headed man among their ranks (though most merely assumed it was a costume).

"Are you alright so far?" Saijin called over the immense throb of the bass resonating through ReVerb.

"It's… Not bad." Soifon replied, trying to raise her own voice over the beat.

"Ah, good." said Saijin, as if lost for what else to say. His pale gold eyes glanced at Soifon, the writhing mass of dancer towards the center and then back to Soifon. "Um, would you like to dance?" A jolt of resentment shot through Soifon. She _didn't_ dance. She'd been raised with the belief it was a frivolous activity and held no actual worth in life. And yet, the idea sounded mildly appealing right now. Besides, she was slightly intrigued to observe Saijin dancing.

"I guess." she replied bluntly. Saijin offered a massive hand (or was it paw? Well, it more or less resembled a hand, so we'll go with that for now). The female shinigami glanced indifferently at his hand. Seconds passed before realizing he'd intended for her to take it. Scrambling, she quickly linked hands with him as they fought their way through the crowd for a more central spot under the multicolored lights.

After battling their way through the pungent crowd, Saijin immediately switched into handsome-chivalrous-ballroom-dancer-mode. Which would have been great.

If this was a ballroom.

But it wasn't, and here wasn't enough room to accommodate his sweeping motions. Not to mention, the graceful waltz he attempted didn't quite fit the happy hardcore techno rumbling through the speakers. Soifon was nearly flung through the crowd as he twirled her with one arm.

"Um, Komamura?" she asked frantically as she struggled to regain balance in the near-unresponsive gigai. Her voice was apparently unheard as he pulled her forward as he stepped back. Unable to match his huge strides, she was crushed into his chest, finding it increasingly hard to breathe. She could deal with someone of his size if this was combat, but it was supposed to be an innocent and friendly dance, and trying to free herself would result in harming him in one way or another. And injuring said date fell under the category of 'bad taste', as Momo had told her. After a few minutes of the wolf-captain's dragging and pulling of Soifon around the dance floor, he finally led her into a graceful dip. It was then she seized her chance. Her face contorted into a severe expression, the same one she often reserved for scolding the incompetent members in her division. As her eyes held Saijin's, there was no way he could miss it. "Komamura." she stated again, voice firm and unyielding.

"Yes?" he still awkwardly held the position, "Is something wrong?"

"Yes."

"Oh." Somewhat embarrassed, he carefully pulled her up and ignored the hostile glares from the other people packing the dance floor.

"I appreciate your attempt to…Rather literally sweep me off my feet. However, I'm not sure they do." She gestured vaguely at the bristling club-goers around.

"I-I apologize…"

"Yeah, well…" she bit back a response, trying to remain unruffled. Suddenly, a dizziness overwhelmed her as red nipped at the edges of her vision. This was accompanied by a numb sensation in her left arm and hand. A small grunt escaped her throat, and Saijin's pale eyes widened in concern.

"Soifon-"

"I'll be fine!" she snarled as she left to find the bathroom. As the woman fought her way through the mobs of people, the red continued to pulse at the corners of her vision, and the lightheadedness associated with fainting began to fall over her. Finally, she stumbled into the bland-in-comparison bathroom and barricaded herself into a stall. A sigh passed her lips as she leaned against the wall of the tiny stall, trying to calm the temporary body down. The problem was clear - the gigai. The lightheadedness was brought on by over stimulation of the body's senses - made on a whim, it wasn't fit to handle so much light, sound and motion all at once. The sluggish responses of earlier had evolved into temporary bouts of numbness, rendering whatever body part incapable for a span of time. Her good hand curled into a fist and gently pounded the stall's door.

_Hinamori asked Hitsugaya to ask Urahara to make a gigai for me in a few hours' notice… _She began to reason, _But Urahara's gigai, even low-grade ones, are still known for holding in tough circumstances. Hitsugaya… Matsumoto! _Her brain finally made the link, _He must have sent her to request the gigai. Of **course **she would tell Urahara to tone down on quality; she's trying to skew the bet and spin it in her favor! I understand Hitsugaya is busy, but **why **did her send her?! _The sickening feeling returned to her head and her left leg began shaking violently, but Soifon forced herself to calm down again. _But if she thinks she'll stop me just because of this, she's wrong. _

Warily, Soifon stepped out of the stall and turned on the faucet on one of the sinks, letting cool water run over her hands. She splashed a bit on her face and felt some of the haziness chased away. The typical composure and balance returned and, save for a tingling feeling in her arm, she left the bathroom better than she had before.

_You are going to have a nice, pleasurable evening with Komamura and win the bet tonight. _She told herself calmly as she scouted for his mass amongst the other dancers. She finally spotted him a bit off to the side, awaiting her return. Inhaling deeply, she approached.

"Komamura, I apologize for my earlier outburst. I-"

"It's quite alright, Soifon. Whatever your reason, I'm sure it was quite valid."

"Yes," a short nod accompanied her response, "Shall we pick up wear we left off?"

"Gladly." With fingers laced and a sweeping gait, they re-entered the dance floor, and this time Saijin had studied the sharp movements of modern dance and was attempting to imitate them; somewhat comically at that. Soifon, feeling slightly uncomfortable, joined in. She at first attempted subtle movements, no more than a swing of the arms or a tap of the feet. But soon, the music engulfed her and she became more daring. She was only vaguely aware of Saijin's impressed expression (she successfully out-danced her partner) and the circle of people that surrounded them, watching. Before too long, the self-contained captain was simply _moving_. She was no longer aware of even if what she was doing was considered dancing, but due to the impressed and satisfied expressions on the onlooker's faces, she assumed they approved.

_Hn…I've got this gigai under control now, _she thought after pulling off an exceptionally well-executed leap. The heavy bass beat that had swallowed her had finally faded, and it was only then was she aware of how tired she really was. Soifon was panting, lost for breath, and trails of sweat ran over her skin, ending in tiny drops of the salty fluid.

"That was… Incredible. I knew you were flexible, but I didn't think anyone could have such rhythm" Saijin breathed to her. Slightly unnerved, Soifon looked away. She wondered what the others in the Soul Society would think, seeing the bitter woman break loose. This was the same person who was raised being told her life had no other point than to watch Yoruichi like a hawk, and make sure no one came within 2 feet of her unless authorized. And here she was, engaging in such pleasurable activities like dancing?

"Ah, thanks…" she finally muttered, lost for words. For a few heartbeats, silence hung in the air.

"Yes, well, um… May I get you a drink?" he inquired, looking to break the quiet. 'You look quite exhausted."

"Thank you, that would be nice… Please, water if they have it." No way would she risk in alcohol in this cheap gigai, and she doubted ReVerb would serve her preferred brand of green tea. At that, Saijin gave a polite dip of the head and strode off to the bar. Finally, able to relax, Soifon leaned against the wall, rubbing her neck gingerly. So far, things were going pretty well, but she only hoped she could put up with this atmosphere for another couple hours - the crowds were beginning to get to her. Suddenly, a snickering snapped her attention to a group of guys around Ichigo's age a few yards away. Their eyes were fixated on her, but when she turned to look at them, they drew back into their circle and began talking once more. Feigning disinterest, Soifon closed her eyes and leaned her head against the wall, but her keen ears were trying to listen intently to what they were saying.

"You were right…" one of them muttered.

"Didn't I tell ya? Totally smokin'. And she can dance…. Awesome."

"Aw, shut up, man… You suck with chicks."

"Wanna put money on that? Just watch me." The last guy's speech ended with an arrogant chuckle as he strode toward the object of their conversation - our innocent protagonist, Soifon. As she heard the man approach closer, she whipped up her head, opened her eyes and fixed silver slits on him.

"What do you want?", she spat when he was within earshot. He even looked disgusting, greasy black hair streaked with neon green and sharp, rat-like features. He shrugged in mock nonchalance.

"Just wondering what you were doing here instead of out there, dancing. You're pretty good." Soifon merely 'hmpphed'. He drew closer, leaving a mere five inched of space in between them. In response, Soifon edged away. "Nothing to be afraid of…" he chuckled. "I'm just a lovestruck guy."

"Oh, please…" Soifon hissed bitterly. "Now, go. Like, go away."

"Aw, come _on._ Ditch wolf-man and come with _me_…I promise, you won't be disappointed!" He edged closer still, and she felt one of his hands slip down her spine to rest briefly in the small of her back, pause, and continue on it's trajectory. At first, she was so shocked as to do anything, then her mind raced with possibilities of how to best decimate this sorry excuse for a human. She could deliver a nice kick to the face, stomach or crotch, all of which were tempting. And if she felt like utilizing her fists instead, the options increased tenfold…

But she didn't have time to further contemplate her method of attack.

A great, black-and-tawny blur flashed before her, sounding an animalistic snarl. The next thing she knew, her rather sickening admirer was pinned to the ground by a furious Saijin, who stared him in the face like a wolf offered a challenge. Which, incidentally, wasn't _too_ far from the truth. That, and a whole crowd of people had gathered around, watching with mild interest.

Saijin lowered his face closer to the man's, his breath rank and hot against Soifon's admirer.

"A-alright…" he stuttered frantically. Gawd, I'll lay off… Just, get off me, man." Saijin gave one last warning growl and a gold glare capable of killing, then slowly got up. The man glanced viciously at Soifon. "Geez, woman… If you'd have told me you had a freakin' guard dog…" He limped away, breaking through the crowd of people. Soifon's eyes flashed as she glanced at a still-bristling Saijin and the crowd.

"Nothing to see, people." she called warningly, "Move along." Mumbling sullenly, the club-goers dispersed and went back to dancing, drinking and general partying. The captain then fixed her gaze on Saijin, who'd calmed down. Under her hot gaze, though, he shrank away like a puppy who'd just been found chewing on a pair of $100 shoes. Was that a whine that just slipped from his throat?

"Komamura," she regarded icily, "Could you explain why you just tackled that man?"

"Soifon… I… He… He was practically molesting you, Soifon! I couldn't just stand there and let the scumbag slide!"

"And you didn't think I could have dealt with him in a much more discreet way?" What she didn't tell him was that her method of disposal were about as discreet as his tackling.

"…It's not that…" he muttered. Soifon sighed. He was sounding slightly pitiful as of now, a far cry from the shinigami who just thrown a person to the ground.

"Just…Arg, never mind… Let's… I don't know. Let's go get those drinks." she said, visibly ruffled. She strode off to the bar, Saijin trailing obediently after her, not wanting to cause any further trouble. Finally, she plunked herself down in one of the uncomfortably poofy plastic barstools.

"What can I get you two?", the friendly bartender asked.

"Do you have tea?" Soifon demanded, perhaps with a bit more aggressiveness than was really necessary. But who could blame her? Her nerves were frayed. She _**needed**_ her tea.

"Um," a miniscule frown creased the man's lips, "I'm sorry to say we don't." Biting back a snarl, Soifon pursed her lips.

"Alright… Do you have a menu, then? So I can see what you _do_ have?"

"Certainly." From behind the counter, he withdrew a small menu, consisting of several sheets coated in plastic. Listed on the pages were exotic drinks, ones with names Soifon never even knew existed. Some were red, others lime-green and some were orange. Hell, there was even a _blue _drink on the menu. It had an odd name as well - "Electric Butterfly". Who named a drink Electric Butterfly, anyways? Nevertheless, some little, curious part of Soifon's brain was urging her to order it, more or less for the novelty of consuming something so bizarre and _blue._

"Um, I'll try that." She pointed to the brightly colored beverage and the bartender nodded approvingly.

"Ah, indeed… The Electric Butterfly, one of our finest. I take it the vodka is alright." Now, being as clueless as any shinigami thrust into the world of the living with all the modern creations, Soifon nodded and pretended she knew what he was talking about.

_Maybe this 'vodka' stuff is what makes it blue? _she thought to herself.

"Anyways," the bartender continued, turning his attention to Saijin, "What can I get for you, um-" his eyes flickered over the wolfish man, unsure of what to say, "-er-sir?" he finished messily.

"Just ice water for me, please." Saijin said, as he fished out some of the modern money Kisuke had provided them with. Within moments, both captains were provided with their beverages and sat sipping at them in silence, Saijin unsure of what to say and Soifon lost in the ecstasy that was the Electric Butterfly.

_This is good… _she mentally approved, taking in a another sip greedily _It burns a little, like the saké in the Soul Society, but it's still good. _Meanwhile, Saijin's pale gold eyes watched Soifon, and finally, judging the situation to be safe, he spoke.

"So, are you enjoying it?" he ventured.

"Very much!" the silver-eyed woman said with uncharacteristic enthusiasm. She swiftly downed the last of the cerulean-blue liquid and let out a satisfied sigh. Saijin's ear perked up.

"Ah, yes, I'd like to apologize for earlier." he said with a dip of the head, "I realize now I overreacted to the situation and-"

"Don't worry…" she sighed, an odd satisfied tone to her voice. "But, I could stand to get another one of these." She glanced briefly at the glass and spun the stool around to face the bartender. "Another one of these thingies please." she requested.

-

Perhaps Saijin thought he was really doing her good by letting Soifon indulge in three of the Electric Butterflies. Oh, how wrong he found out he was…

It took about five heated explanations with the bartender until Saijin finally understood that vodka was, in fact, a type of alcohol. All the while, Soifon was amusing herself by spinning around rapidly on the barstool, falling off a few times only to stumble up laughing hysterically as if it were the most comical thing in the universe. The fact that Soifon had a rather low tolerance for alcohol coupled with the fact the gigai was designed for basic activities, drinking not included, made even three Electric Butterflies waaaaaay too much for the 2nd Division's captain's system.

And now, there stood Saijin, trying to reason with intoxicated woman.

"Listen, Soifon… Perhaps we should go and - No! Please, get down from the bar!" She'd taken it upon herself to clamber clumsily up onto the bar, trying to walk down it as if it were a balancing beam, arms stretched wide to either side.

"I beliiieeeve I can fly!" she sang, though rather off-tune. "I - ooofff!" Saijin had gently seized her around her middle and set her firmly on the ground.

"Now, listen to me. Right now, you're just a little…" he paused, searching for the right word, "Off. You have to understand, I'm not trying to spoil your fun, or be mean-" he was promptly interrupted by her.

"I think it's sexy." she stated bluntly, eyes half-narrowed, though not in familiar anger. It almost seemed somewhat, vaguely like… Lust.

Oh god. This wasn't going to be fun for Saijin. There had to be a way to sober her up. And quickly, if possible.

"Um… Alright… Then…" he said, unsure of what to say as his ears flattered against his head in a sort of fear. She was captain class as well, as could probably have him down and tied up if she wanted. Wait, that didn't sound right considering the current situation… "Anyways," he began once more, trying to reinforce his tone with some certainty. "We're going to leave and see if we can find Vice Captain Hinamori. She should know what to do." Under his breath, he added a quick 'I hope'.

And so, he departed ReVerb, Soifon clinging adoringly to his legs and muttering a passion-tinged 'Mmm…Saijin…' every now and then and making an uncoordinated grab at his crotch. You knew things were bad when she started on a first-name basis and the groping started.

Saijin limped to the café (doing his best not to wound the amorous and tipsy shinigami) where Momo said she would wait. Sure enough, the girl sat outside at one of the tables, flipping idly through a magazine while sipping at hot chocolate.

"Vice Captain Hinamori!" he called, waving one great arm. She looked up to the source of her name a few yards away, confusion shining in her eyes as she watched Soifon nuzzle the anthropomorphic wolf affectionately, muttering words that were completely incoherent. Slowly, she stood up and approached the duo.

"What's going on?", she ventured, gaze flickering between the two.

"We..." Saijin began, ears twitching as he formulated a sentence, "…Had a slight accident with some alcohol."

"I want Saijin's babies!" Soifon drunkenly proclaimed out of nowhere, perhaps a little too loud.

"I…Can see that." Momo whispered as Soifon rambled on about her unrequited love for the captain she clung fiercely to.

"Do you know how to cure this? Or anything?"

"Um, well, at the 11th's party a few weeks ago, we just sort of knocked her out and hoped she'd forget everything when she woke up. It worked but…"

"It wouldn't be appropriate in this scenario?"

"Well, sorta. But if push comes to shove…" With that, Momo focused her efforts on a totally hammered Soifon.

"Alright, Soifon, come on, let's let Captain Komamura have a bit of space."

"No!" she hiccupped, wrapping toned arms tighter around him, "You can't take him from me! We-we…" she trailed off, as if losing her train of thought and caught it again, "Like, belong together!"

"Now, if you can let go, maybe he'll be ready later." Momo quickly shot Saijin a look of 'work-with-me-here' before he had a chance to protest.

"But…I want… Right now…", she began to raise her voice, attracting quite an audience from the streets.

"Soifon, listen-" Momo futilely began, but Soifon only latched once more onto the captain, near suffocating him.

"Nooooo…"

"Um, Hinamori… Help, please?" his voice tapered off to a rasping hoarseness as the raven-haired woman all but strangled him.

"Alright, we're gonna have to go with the 11th's tactic!" Momo called as she picked up one of the plastic chairs from the café's tables. With a mighty swing, the chair connected with the intoxicated captain, who fell limply to the ground. Talk about anticlimactic. Both Momo and Saijin simply stared at the KO'ed shinigami.

"I suppose we should take her back to the Soul Society?"

"Um, yeah. Good idea."

---

Yeow... Crazy chapter, right here. As for the utter randomness of Saijin ballroom dancing? It came from some incredibly twisted dream I had in Flordia (that also contained Blue Man Group, Harry Potter and some bananas... Don't even ask.) As for next chapter, we'll get a glimpse of more of Rangiku's scheming. Also, Shunsui Kyoraku will leap onto center stage. I owe much thanks to none other than** DefensiveFighter** for the awesome idea of including Shunsui. I honestly didn't think of him, but now I see the endless comedic possibilities... devious smirk

Finally, a big thanks out to all my reviewers as well as my 'lurkers'. I certainly hope you enjoyed this, and you'll stick around for next chapter.


	8. Disaster is Pink

**Author's Note:** First and foremost, I've been through a killer AP test, suffered through one hell of a cold, underwent a ton of preparations for my vacation (next Monday I'm heading to Flordia for a week!) and generally endured mass chaos. So, I hope everyone will at least be a little forgiving in my late updating of this story. Have a bit of sympathy for your incredibly busy author, please?

That aside, here's Chapter 8. I should warn that alot of the humor this time around is a bit more sexual (nothing more than hinted at, definatley not M-rated, but not squeaky-clean either), but that's what everyone's seeming to get a kick out of, anyways. That, and this chapter switches point-of-views. ALOT. So try not to get too distracted in that. I did my best to keep things simple to understand.

That said, I had a bit inquiry about my dream I mentioned in passing last chapter, so I suppose I should go into it. I will warn you, I have very VERY crazy dreams that often make little to no sense. However, this is 100 percent true.

It began with me, my parents and my cousin at a Blue Man Group Performance at Briar Street Theater in Chicago. Now, it you've ever been to The Briar Street Theater for Blue Man Group, you'll know the lobby-ish area is all covered with pipes and cool lights and stuff. However, this time the lobby was full of trees that hung overhead with fruit. Everyone kept telling us to collect fruit, as we'd need it for the performance. So, I started collecting pears and peaches (neither of which I particularly like) and everyone else picked bananas. Then, they start sending us into the actual theater and as soon as we sat down there was this deafening roar and most people began to freak out. I just kinda sat there. So, then Harry Potter (this was right after the 7th book was released) just poofs in next to me and we start talking about ferrets and something else I can't remember. After we're done, there lights dim down and the performance starts. But instead of Blue Man Group, this really soft dance-ish music plays and two people waltz out on the stage. It turns out they're Komamura and my school's Chinese teacher (yes, my school offers Chinese as a foreign language…We're cool like that). They keep dancing, eventually going through different styles, but all of them are the generally ballroom styles. Then, there was another crash and we're all doused with water. Then I forgot what happened as I woke up.

Bleach...I don't own it, I never owned it and I doubt I ever will...

Now, read on for the next installment in Seven Days of Love and Hate!

---

Her memories were… Hazy, to say the least.

When Soifon woke up that morning at around 10:00 AM, she was immediately confounded. How did she end up in bed? What was the source of the immense throbbing in her head? When her fingers trailed up through her hair to feel the spot, there was a rather large lump as well as a good deal of blood that matted the dark locks together. While that explained the external stabs of pain that blazed through her head, it didn't justify the soreness within her mind. So she did the first thing that came to mind - shower.

Captains were lucky in that they had their own private bathrooms attached to their suites in the Division, and Soifon had _never _been as thankful for it. She was not in a "people" mood this morning, and the thought of having to suffer through idle chit-chat if she was forced to use the Division's showers was absolutely sickening. Her mind was briefly punctuated by images of her driving the head of her obnoxious 14th-seat through the blue-and-cream ceramic-tiled wall.

With a sigh, she gathered up a handful of clothes for the day from her dresser and quickly barricaded herself in the bathroom. Soifon grimaced as she saw her reflection - dark bags were drawn under dull eyes, and her hair was nothing short of an ink-black bird's nest. What areas her sleep clothes didn't cover revealed thin scars that had yet to fully heal from her battle with Kenpachi. This surfaced once more the question that nipped at her mind like an itch you couldn't reach - what happened last night? She had a vague recollection of misty memories - but after she had ingested the mysterious (but still very, very good) blue drink, it was all a fleeting blur. It was like trying to catch smoke - you could see the smoke was there, but it always scattered at touch.

Wanting nothing more than to relax right now, Soifon pushed the nagging thoughts to the back of her mind and turned the water on as to give it ample time to warm up, then quickly slipped out of and cast aside her clothes. Stepping under the water made a gasp catch in her throat - it was hot, ridiculously so. But yet, Feeling the water that burned like liquid fire pummel her back harbored a purifying emotion - soothing. For a few minutes, she simply stood there, letting the liquid trail down her flesh in tiny streams. Before too long, she started to squeeze the foamy, vanilla-scented shampoo in her hair, lathering vigorously as to clean the blood from whatever had caused the abnormal lump atop her skull. This was followed by a vigorous scrubbing of the skin, so vigorous some parts were rubbed down to a raw, pink color. But for the first time in ages, she felt truly _clean_, as if she could start anew and pretend none of what had happened prior to her 15 minutes showering ever occurred. However, fate didn't have the same agenda…

A rapt knocking at her bathroom door drew the captain's attention away from her shower.

"Hello?" a voice called out from the other side of the door. Over the hiss of water pouring from the showerhead, Soifon couldn't make out the speaker, save for they were female. With an irritated grumble of 'hold on a second', she turned off the water and slipped out of the shower while wrapping a long towel over her shoulders. She opened the door just a few inches as to see who had interrupted her dramatic shower-scene of self-discovery (and ruined quite a few plot advancements in the process) and was greeted with the all-too-familiar bun-headed vice captain, who waved away the cloud of steam that drifted towards her from the bathroom.

"Hinamori, what do you want?" Soifon's tone was exasperated, but held quite a bit of unintended venom. The girl flinched at the towel-clad shinigami abrasive response, then brushed it off as if the words were mere dust on her clothes.

"I came to visit you, to make sure you were… Alright." Momo's tone held an odd quality, an unnatural pause and a tone as though she were addressing a child. That, and Soifon couldn't miss the look in the other's eyes, a look as though the captain had lobsters growing out of her head. More in nervousness than modesty, she pulled the towel closer around her body.

"What are you not telling me, Hinamori?"

"Um, do you remember last night?"

"Up until I drank the Butterfly-thing."

"Oh… You might wanna get dressed, this is going to be a really, _really_ long story."

-

"And then we finally took you back here. At that point, you were conscious again and talking about -"

"Hinamori, do I really want to hear what I was talking about this time?"

"Oh, uh, now that you mention it, probably not." Soifon buried her head in her arms. She'd gotten dressed and they now sat on her bed as Momo detailed last night's events, as well as Soifon's rather embarrassing drunken state. "So, last night was just as bad as the other nights."

"Well, not exactly." Momo put in.

"And how so?"

"At least you didn't injure Captain Komamura like you did the other three."

"No, but I made him think I was a demented, clingy, sex-starved idiot."

"He knew you were just a bit out of it."

'Still, this is exactly what Matsumoto wanted, I bet." she continued, her voice muffled by her posture.

"Well, yeah." Momo replied, "I mean, her plan essentially worked."

"You're not exactly helping here."

"Oh, yes… Sorry." There wasn't a hint of sorrow in her voice, only a newfound enthusiasm, "Anyways, we have a more pressing matter at hand. We need to pick someone for you later today. If we don't, it'll only give Rangiku more to time to plot again. So, who do you want?" Soifon's eyes widened.

"You're asking… Me?"

"Well," Momo's eyes shifted off to the right to escape Soifon's gaze. "You never seem to like my ideas, so…" Her voice trailed off, and for a moment a glimmer of gratitude for having the vice captain's help flared within her head.

"Um," Soifon began, her mind cycling through all the semi-tolerable men in the Seireitei. "What about…" She finally had an idea, "What about Kira? The blonde one from the 3rd?" She didn't know him all that well, but he seemed like the nice, quiet type. It could work. Momo's expression twisted into one of slight uneasiness.

"Yeah… Well, Izuru's a good guy, but he's not the type you'd exactly want to go out with. He's not the most romantic of people."

"I'm not looking for romance, Hinamori, only some who'll tolerate me for a few hours and not cause any disasters."

"Izuru's disaster-prone."

"Scratch that." Soifon leaned back slightly and her mind raced again with possibilities. "Maybe Hitsugaya? He's reasonable." Immediately, a fierce pink blush flared over Momo's features.

"W-why would you want to go out with Sno- Toshiro? I mean, he's rude sometimes and thinks he knows everything and he's waaaaaaay too young for you and-" Momo rambled before interrupted by a heavy, hissing sigh from Soifon.

"Ok, fine, your Hitsugaya is out of the picture, alright?" Even the romance-impaired captain couldn't miss the jealous tone in her companion's voice. The last thing she wanted to do was anger her only ally now. The fiery blush cooled from Momo's features and she seemed to relax as she gained back some composure.

"You could try…" Momo started, deciding to throw out some of her own ideas for the sake of it. "Hanataro?"

"The Yamada kid in the 4th Division?" Soifon's questioning tone was accompanied by a cock of the eyebrow. "Um, I think I'll pass on him."

"Why? He's nice and maybe a little shy, but a good person."

"He's terrified of me." Soifon explained, "It's a long story, don't even ask."

"Ok, so no Hanataro." Both women closed their eyes, deep in thought. Five minutes of thought-intensive silence passed, and then was a sudden gasp from Momo as if she had an epiphany. "Got it!" she trumpeted.

"…Who?" Soifon inquired, opening one silver eyes to take in the sight of the overly excited vice captain.

"Captain Kyoraku!" she explained as if it were the most obvious thing ever.

"Er, no." replied Soifon, rather unpleasant images coming to mind.

"But think, Soifon! He's perfect!"

"Since when?"

"Seriously… He loves things like dates so much, that there's no way you could possibly mess it up unless you like, you know, kill him or something. So as long as you don't kill him, he'll definitely vouch for you and you'll win!" Momo explained, her voice growing higher in enthusiasm.

"I mean this in the best possible way, but Kyoraku is perhaps the biggest womanizer in the Soul Society. I'd take even that twisted little lion toy of Kurosaki's over him."

-

A long ways away in Karakura Town, Kon perked up from reading his "magazine".

"Ichigo!" the plushie screamed, abandoning his reading and leaping up onto the bed where the orange-haired teen poured over homework.

"What?", Ichigo asked, tone laced with irritation.

"Somewhere… Somewhere a long ways away, a woman's heart burns for my presence! I'm wanted! My life has been fulfilled!" Kon began sobbing dramatically in ecstasy.

"Geez, Kon, you need to lay off the crack… That's the stupidest thing I've heard since I've been back." But the lion plush was already out Ichigo's window.

"I WILL FIND YOU, MY LOVE!" he cried as he leaped off the window's ledge.

"Good riddance…" Ichigo sighed.

-

"He can't be that bad… I mean, Nanao puts up with him all the time." Momo reasoned.

"Key words there, Hinamori - _puts up _with him… That doesn't mean she enjoys it."

"Oh, come on, Soifon… I swear, I'll be there this time! I know the last three times I couldn't be there directly to help so -"

"And the one time you were wasn't exactly great, either.", the silver-eyed shinigami oh-so-tactfully pointed out.

"That was all Renji's fault. And don't worry, I'll set up something absolutely wonderful!" With that, Momo leapt up, speeding out Soifon's door.

"Hinamori! Wait!" the captain cried, stretching her hand towards her in futile gesture. But it was too late, the chocolate-haired girl was already long gone, and a hissing sigh escaped Soifon's throat.

"I am so not up for this right now…"

-

"Captain!" Rangiku said in a sing-song voice as she flitted around Toshiro Hitsugaya, was sitting at his desk dejectedly signing off reports. With a growl of frustration, he turned his biting teal eyes to her.

"What do you want, Matsumoto?! Can you not see I'm _busy_?" Unphased, she flounced over to his other side, clearly ecstatic.

"Guess what?"

"…What?" Toshiro ventured, slightly hesitant.

"Your clever little Vice Captain's plan worked." She spread one hand on her chest, a self-satisfied and cocky gesture.

"…Wha? What 'plan'?" At the white-haired boy's comment, Rangiku's eyes widened.

"Hn? You didn't hear? Anyways, Soifon was idiotic enough to actually make a bet with _me_."

"Oh, that." Rangiku didn't miss the roll of Toshiro's eyes, "And from I what I heard from Hinamori, _you _were the one to propose the bet."

"OK, well, yeah, but Soifon was the one who accepted it. That's idiocy in itself."

"From what _I _hear, you accused her of fawning over Yoruichi and being incapable of snagging a guy. Did you think for one moment she was just try to defend her pride?"

"Well, regardless… My plan worked! I managed to sabotage _everything_!" She clasped her hands together, seeming _way _too happy with herself for screwing up a date. Toshiro leaned back in his chair, fingers tapping rhythmically on his wooden desk.

"And why are you telling me this?"

"Well, I need to you to try and trail Momo and see if you can, ah… Get any information about what their new plan is."

"Matsumoto, I'm not deceiving those two so you can attempt to sabotage them. I don't agree with it and until further notice, I'm totally neutral in this whole thing." He leaned back in the chair, arms now crossed over his chest. Rangiku's lips curled into a mock pout.

"But Captain! You're supposed to be on my side."

"I'm not on anyone's 'side', but with the way you're acting, I'm leaning towards siding with Hinamori and Captain Soifon."

"Fine." With a huff, Rangiku spun around towards the door. "I'll find someone else who'll be able to help me."

"You go right ahead." Toshiro shot back as he lifted his brush to continue with the reports.

_Good luck Captain Soifon…_ he thought to himself _I have no idea what Matsumoto's up to, but if she's involved, I guarantee it won't be pretty._

-

Sunset should have been a time of romance, a time when the world seemed to come to standstill as you savor and squeeze every last drop of glory from the lovely few hours. For Soifon, this particular sunset could really only be described as 'a nightmare with really bad pick-up lines and an ugly pink haori'.

It was her first impression as she was reluctantly led (more or less dragged) into the Eighth Division by Momo, outfitted in _another _one of the girl's dressy ensembles (where did Momo get all of them? And why did she even have them?). This time, it was a simple black camisole with a sheer lavender cardigan tossed over, as well as a pair of grey corduroy pants. She hadn't even spent three minutes inside the Division until Shunsui mysteriously floated into the foyer, trailed closely by Nanao, whose lips were pursed as she tightly gripped a basket of flower petals (this time it was a mix of white rose and pale pink cherry blossom). Upon seeing this sight, Soifon cocked an eyebrow and glanced at Momo, who responded with a hesitant smile. With a wide, contented smile, Shunsui swept up to them, kneeled and pressed his lips against Soifon's hand, the stubble on his chin rough against her skin. Nanao tossed a handful of petals over them before shooting the female captain a quick and viperous glare. Soifon merely ignored her and tried to pull her hand away, though the lazy captain's mouth seemed to be Velcro-ed to the limb. Finally, he pulled away and once more stood, brown eyes calm and contented. Suddenly, he swept around behind her and pulled the tag from the sheer cardigan into his view, studying it intently.

"Kyoraku, _what _are you doing?" she hissed angrily, trying to twist around to look him in the face.

"Yep…" he murmured with another lazy smile, "Just as I thought… 'Made in Heaven'." Soifon sighed at the cheesy line, Nanao face palmed and Momo smiled and giggled, thinking it was somewhat sweet.

"Is this really necessary? And would you let go of my shirt now?" Soifon snarled, trying to struggle free. Shunsui did let go, but not without a dramatic sigh as he sank onto his knees, head bowed.

"Oh, you wound me so… So much like my sweet Nanao, who also rejects me. I am but a man searching for love in this stark world of the dead! But you could be my angel, my savior, my dear Soi." He removed his straw hat and looked up at Soifon with wide and pleading eyes, looking like an oversized, pink puppy.

"Um, don't call me that." the female captain replied, shrinking back.

"The one who shines like the crescent moon?"

"No."

"My sweet rose with eyes of silver?"

"No."

"Lovable little bee of death?"

"No. And that's probably the worst yet."

"Then 'my dear Soi' will have to suffice! Now, let us together fly into the sunset with all the abandon of young lovers! Come, my dear Soi, come!" And with that Shunsui was… Gone. He ran out the entrance of the Division, leaving the three women staring out the exit. Nanao looked completely unsurprised, as if he did this on a daily basis (and no one would put it past him). Soifon looked relieved and Momo looked excited.

"Alright," Soifon began, "Well, now that he's gone and apparently satisfied, can I leave now?" Momo shook he head as she grabbed the Commander's arm and began to attempt to lead her out the door.

"Aw, but that takes away all the fun! And besides, I have everything all nice and set up for you two." And so reluctantly, Soifon let Momo drag her out the door while Nanao still stood glaring daggers.

-

"And this, my dear Soi, is the very best of all the garden's cherry blossom trees!" Shunsui explained while gesturing grandly at the pink-blossomed tree before them.

"Um, it looks exactly like the others."

"But I can assure you it _is _the best."

"But what makes this one so different from the others?"

"It has this aura of grandeur about it; you can just _sense _it's the best."

"But why?" It took Soifon a good seven minutes of inquiry before realizing trying to reason with Shunsui was futile and was equivalent to reason with a brick (he never gave any logical evidence, only steadfastly insisted this tree was the unchallenged greatest). Finally, she crossed her arms over her chest and changed the subject. "So what, are we going to stand here and stare at the tree all night?"

"But of course not!" It was only then Soifon realized the floral-clad captain had the handles of a wicker basket draped over his arm. With more flourish than was really necessary for setting down a basket, Shunsui laid it down on the grass and began pulling an assortment of objects from the inside. First was a white and pink blanket, which he made a great deal of spreading over the plush and springy garden grass under the tree. This was proceeded by a small bundle wrapped in white cloth (which she would later find was Shunsui's pitiful attempt at baking cookies) and a few rather large bottles of saké. Once everything was laid out on the pink-and-white cloth, Shunsui settled himself upon it with a contented sigh.

Soifon just stared at the display.

"Ahh, my dear Soi, please! Come and join me!" He patted a spot on the blanket near him while opening one of the bottles.

"…Why?" was her simple response. Instead of offering a nice, clean-cut answer as his unwilling companion liked, Shunsui gestured broadly at the sky.

"All this beauty is ours to take in! Sit down beside me, and bask in the glory that is a summer sunset!" He leaned back against the tree while Soifon pursed her lips and reluctantly sat down rigidly beside him. Arguing was a lost cause, she decided. The man knew no logic. He began to pour the wine he held in one hand into two small cups he drew from the dark inner depths of the dreaded pink haori. Chocolate-brown eyes caught stark silver as he held up one of the cups. "Would you like some, my dear Soi?"

"That's… Alright." Soifon bitterly responded, "Thanks, though… I guess." No _way _was she touching anything with even a drop of alcohol after last night. Heaven forbid she end up in the same "mood", she highly doubted Shunsui would be quiet as enthusiastic about repelling her advances as Saijin had been. No, alcohol was definitely _bad._

-

Meanwhile, two souls lurked in a patch of shrubbery, past the eyes of Soifon and Shunsui with their reiatsu cloaked. One smiled broadly, before turning to her companion.

"Heh, ready for this all Izuru?" Rangiku asked, the remnants of a grin still lingering over her lips. The blonde-haired man beside her sighed and rubbed his neck.

"Remind me why I'm doing this again?", he asked, tone rather flat.

"Because you love me."

"I do?"

"Yes, as a friend… Now, focus." She turned an intense blue-grey gaze to the duo under the cherry blossom tree, which was quickly followed by Izuru's own clear azure. "Now, judging by our position, we're aligned just so that it's a straight line from us to Shunsui."

"Um, alright…"

"Thus, if a hypothetical projectile were fired from us to him, it would most likely hit its mark without said target noticing until it's too late."

"…OK. So…?"

"Think, Izuru!" Rangiku hissed, accompanied by a tap of her temple. "Our plan involves a projectile intended to hit him!"

"Well, you didn't _tell _me that," the man complained, "You just pulled me from my division, said it was an emergency and you needed help… Now, what's going on?"

"Alright, we need to hit Shunsui with the dart I brought. It's really that simple, Izuru."

"…And hitting him with a dart will help us, how?" At his words, the trademark devious grin spread over Rangiku's lips as her eyes narrowed and glinted with amusement.

"The dart contains an aphrodisiac I got from the 12th Division."

"The 12th Division actually let you have supplies?", Izuru asked skeptically.

"When you attend as parties as me, and everyone is completely blasted, there are ample opportunities to get these things. Now, if we can hit Shunsui, his already raging libido will be thrown into overdrive. This, naturally, will terrify Soifon, disaster will ensue in one way or another and it's another point for team Matsumoto!"

"This sounds terribly cliché…"

"Bets aren't often won by uniqueness." with that said, Rangiku began rummaging around in her robes until withdrawing a tiny, inch-long blow dart. Allowing herself one final smirk of premature triumph, she began to take aim……

-

On the opposite side of Izuru and Rangiku, also concealed in thick clusters of bushes, crouched Momo. She watched Shunsui and Soifon wide smiling brown eyes.

_They're so cute together! _she thought to herself, blissfully unaware of her delusion. So far, so good… It didn't seem as if Soifon needed any help. But then, sitting quietly attempting to remain oblivious to your surroundings didn't exactly require much romantic skill. But then, something broke her happy trail of thoughts… Past where the pair sat, in the bushes, there was the slightest movement, a rustle in the dense shrubbery. Dark chocolate eyes narrowed in confusion. Maybe it was just an animal…

-

Soifon didn't notice.

Shunsui didn't notice.

Only Momo noticed the small dart whizzing through the air. It's trajectory was clear - it was aimed straight at Shunsui. Momo's mind raced with the worst of possibilities - an assassin? With Shunsui's guard down as he futilely tried to persuade Soifon they were soul mates presented a challenge. She was tempted to leap up and warn them, but by the time a sound past her lips, the projectile would already be embedded in it's target.

-

"You know, my dear little Soi…" Shunsui began with a roguish grin, "Those clothes look especially nice on you. As a matter of fact, so would I."

"Um…Ew.", was Soifon's confused and lost response. How did she respond to such heavy sexual context and still keep her reputation of icy-cool composure?

"Ah, you're so cold…" the man mock-sobbed as he sunk to the ground, body a crumpled heap under his haori. Perhaps it was a good thing he was such a drama king. The dart, that neither had noticed, flew harmlessly over his head, missing it's target. Completely oblivious, Shunsui continued sobbing and Soifon continued shrinking further away.

-

Momo breathed an inner sigh of relief. Whatever the dart was had missed! However, her bliss was compromised when she noted the dart was aimed straight at her, and was closing in at such a speed she had little time to react…

-

A string of expletives flowed seamlessly past Rangiku's lips as she turned blazing mist-hued eyes to Izuru.

"I missed! Can you believe it?! I missed!" Her hands knotted in silken, copper hair as she rambled on.

"And it take it you weren't prepared enough to bring a second dart?" the blonde beside her inquired.

"Don't mock me."

-

Momo swayed on the spot, her eyes crossed as she tried to glimpse the dart embedded in her forehead. It didn't really hurt, just left a tingling, numb feeling. Finally regaining her sense, she withdrew the dart from her forehead. The vice captain studied the shaft of the item, but it revealed nothing about the contents. Her mind raced to think clearly, but red laced the corners of her vision and a hazy mist flooded her mind, making it hard to think. A spark of heat raced through her veins, flooding every corner of her body with a tingling warmth that made her shiver in a mix of shock and delight. It was as if a thousand feather-soft fingers brushed over her body at once. She took a moment to enjoy the foreign sensation before it faded ever so slightly and she regained use of mind. One glance up was all it took for the seeds of chaos to be planted. Momo's eyes settled on Soifon, right now perhaps the most beautiful creature the girl would ever see.

-

"Please…" Shunsui pleaded as his hands were gripped together in appeal, "Be unique and different - say yes."

"No." was his companion's flat response.

"I understand!" the man cried as he removed a rumpled scrap of paper from the basket, "You need more wooing! And thus, I have crafted a poem intended to melt your heart - and yours alone!"

_Oh, god…_ was the only thing Soifon could think as her silver-ice eyes widened. With a clearing of the throat, he began…

"Oh, but your hair is like the ocean at night

It is dark and ripples when you move

And your eyes are like stars because they

Shine brightly and make my heart groove

And you smell like daises in the summer

Even when you are full of sweat

But that's OK, for you seem to gleam

And your head I want to pet

So we kiss and the world melts

As I hold you in my arm

It's me and you here by ourselves

And I succumb to your charm." he finally finished the last infernal line, leaving Soifon there, eye twitching, with a expression that held a unique mixture of utter confusion, nausea and wondering if it was even possible to murder language anymore.

"Uh, um… Err - I -" she simply couldn't find any words to say. The poem left her that speechless. Not in a good way.

"You were so taken with my poetry that you have no words for me! I understand!" A smile spread over his lips and he reached out to smother the captain in a hug. Luckily for Soifon, she saw Momo stumble out of their agreed hiding place ( i.e. the bushes ), and head towards them, obviously to rescue her from the embrace-of-death Shunsui seemed so intent on. However, the bun-headed girl's gait was unstable, and her eyes were focused on Soifon intently. The captain's inquiring gaze met Momo's own, and suddenly Soifon felt trapped as those usually wide and bright eyes narrowed to chocolate slits, glazed over with fervor.

"Um, Hinamori?" Soifon ventured, wondering what was currently wrong with the girl who had attempted to help her. Without even a fragment of warning, Momo flung herself at Soifon, locking her in a hug. Soifon tried to inch off to the other side, only this time to be locked in Shunsui's arms as well. She had effectively sandwiched herself between the two, neither of which seemed to be letting go. Shunsui, well, she could almost understand his actions (he'd spent the whole evening trying to seduce her), but Momo's actions were completely unexplainable.

_What is wrong with the world?! _she howled furiously in her mind, trying to struggle away.

-

"Haha! Yessssss!" was Rangiku's enthusiastic reply. Izuru, who had been leaning back and twiddling mindlessly with a flower in the briars, perked up.

"What? What happened?" Rangiku gestured at the display under the cherry blossom tree - currently, Soifon trying to escape the double-edged embrace.

"Momo must have been hidden in the other bushes, and when our dart missed Shunsui, it got her instead! Because the dart creates an insatiable lust for whoever the victim first lays eyes on, Momo is now stuck to Soifon like glue. This is in the bag for me!"

"Poor Momo…" Izuru muttered, unable to surrender his compassion for his long-time friend.

"Hey," barked Rangiku, "No sympathizing with the enemy."

"But she's not really our enemy… Besides, aren't you two friends?"

"But she's _helping _the enemy, which is just as bad. And yeah, we are friends. And I'm sure once this whole bet is done and over with, we'll be as close as ever." Izuru decided it was best to not say anything, and returned to watching the interesting show in front of him with a mild degree of guilt.

-

"Alright!" Soifon grunted as she connected a foot with Shunsui's abdomen. "Both of you - off!" Shunsui was temporarily thrown off, and Soifon in turn was able to dislodge Momo. Then, she quickly stood up, surveying the two shinigami who were crouched at her feet, staring adoringly up at her, vaguely reminiscent of a pair of puppies wanting attention. Soifon's silver gaze swept over them as she tried to reason things out. "Now, Kyoraku. You've been doing this all evening. I wouldn't call it a reason, but at least you have an excuse to all but accost me." she turned now to Momo and let skepticism leak into her tone "But why are you acting so strangely?" Just hours earlier, the same vice captain was getting defensive over Toshiro and now… This?

"I've finally realize my heart lies with you, Soifon."

"Uhm…" was Soifon's only shocked response. This all resembled some odd scene from some sappy romance novel. She half expected "Can You Feel The Love Tonight?" to fade in as the three of them surrendered to feelings of longing and affection as storm of cherry blossoms swept around them. "This is…Awkward." Suddenly, Shunsui's voice ruptured the dramatic and awkward tension.

"Aww, but my dear little Soi… I'm the one you're destined for. The two of us, we belong together… You can't turn around to Momo now…" he paused, eyes brightening as a glorious idea came to mind, "Of course, we can always have a threesome!" Soifon flinched and Momo clung possessively to her leg.

"No…Sorry, Captain, but she only wants me. You have no part in our relationship."

"I don't want either of you!", the raven-haired shinigami cried in a frantic voice, glacial-silver eyes wide - panicked. But before she could beat a timely escape, she was pulled down by primarily Momo, with Shunsui trying frantically to steal her back. The man and girl began exchanging heated words over the captain they were both clinging to. Words came to blows as they tried frantically to beat each other up, with Soifon (convientantly caught in the middle) receiving the brunt of the two dueling admirers (one desperate and one drugged). She briefly attempted to subdue them, but both Shunsui and Momo pretty much matched her own strength, making escape difficult. This chaos reigned until about ten minutes until Shunsui belt a brilliant idea burst forth in his mind. Soifon, though she was mainly sinewy muscle, she was still light and small in frame and could be easily carried away. Thus, he quickly snatched her up while Momo was caught up in trying to kick him. Soifon tucked and secured (kicking and screaming, to mention) under one arm like a football, Shunsui flash-stepped off, escaping Momo.

"Aren't you happy, my dear little Soi?" Shunsui inquired, a broad smile on his face, "She is no longer here to bother us! I saved you!" Soifon's venomous eyes bored into him.

"Tch… My knight in shining armor." she hissed, tone dripping sarcasm.

"Really?"

"I was being sarcastic! And for god's sake, put me down already!" Once Shunsui had located another tree (which he explained was his second-favorite), he allowed himself one long look at the petite woman who was struggling in his arms. Her hair was tousled without being tangled, tiny, night-dark locks falling past her eyes, which glowed with fury. She almost resembled Nanao when angry - same slitted eyes and lips thin in a scowl. Some ways back in the scuffle, her sheer lavender cardigan was lost, revealing toned arms and shoulders. In such a ruffled state, there was an aura of allure about her that Shunsui found stunning. After awhile, her elbow in his ribs snapped him promptly and efficiently to reality.

"Yes, yes…" He settled himself beneath one of the trees, drinking in the fresh scent of the pink blossoms above him. Soifon found it pointless to resist anymore, and reluctantly was dragged down with him, her back solid against his chest and stomach.

"So, guess what-" he began, Soifon quickly silenced him.

"This had better not be some cheesy pick-up line, Kyoraku. It won't work on me. And," she shifted uncomfortably while gritting her teeth at the pressure against her lower back. "_Please _tell me that's only your zanpakuto's hilt." Shunsui's grin turned ever-so-slightly nervous.

"Uhm, eh… Unless you're into some incredibly kinky symbolism, can we pretend it is?" With a yelp, Soifon stood up, feeling remarkably contaminated. With all the innuendo, she was surprised Nanao hadn't gutted him yet. However, her thoughts skidded to a screeching halt as she saw the familiar figure of Momo speeding towards them. From there, it all went downhill.

Again.

-

At the end of the evening, when all traces of vivid color vanished from the sky, Nanao had saved Soifon. The be speckled woman claimed she was slightly unnerved by the fireballs that ignited the tree they sat under (Momo found it necessary to unsheathe Tobiume in effort to claim Soifon) and came to investigate. A bolt of her paralyzing kido had efficiently subdued Momo, and she managed to drag Shunsui away before things got even crazier. The 2nd Division's captain thanked the prim Nanao, and departed with a leaden gait off to her own division. She'd need another relaxing, loooooong shower tonight. Things were getting desperate and looking grim. With her lone ally paralyzed (and hopelessly in love, but Soifon assumed it would wear off), her enemy even more intent on halting her progress and _still _no successful date, the pressure was on and the heat was up. Two more days left in the bet - what would become of it?

-

Yep, so that's that! Now, I have five things I have to say...

1. I do not endorse the completely on-a-whim pairing of SoifonXMomo. It was simply used to add some more pointless craze to this chapter.

2. Has anyone ever tried writing bad poetry? Like, seriously tried? I had an amazingly difficult time writing Shunsui's poem...

3. This chapter totally infuriated my inner ShunsuiXNanao shipper. But what can I say? It had to be done...

4. Finally, next chapter will feature Mayuri Kurotsuchi. I originally slated him to debut in this chapter, but Shunsui ended up snagging center stage, so our favorite demented-scientist-captain is pushed to Day Six of the bet. I guarentee you won't wanna miss next chapter.

5. I love reviews. So brighten up my day and leave a little love in the review section, please? I'll give ya a cookie!


	9. Blinded ME With Science TWICE Over?

**Author's Note: **This chaper totally kicked my butt.

I must have rewrote it, literally, about 10 times and it simply wouldn't get better. So I KNOW it's terrible, just bear with me, alright? I guarentee the next chapter (which, don't worry, WON'T be the end) will be ten times better.

Oh yeah, I should mention I decided to keep Momo affected by the dart for a little bit longer. Why? Because love-struck-yuri-Momo is an absolute hoot to write. It gives me a chance to be majorly OOC with an excuse...

Oh! And later on, if you don't get the Pokemon crack, in the games you can waltz into any one's house and even take their stuff and they seem to have no qualms with it.

I don't own any Bleach. I could say I own a bottle of the stuff to clean, but that's very cliche'...

-

The next morning, after a dreamless and quiet sleep, Soifon did her best to keep things normal.

In fact, she went about the morning routine like clockwork, the familiar procedure burned into her mind through sheer monotony. She woke up, scarfed down a scraped-together breakfast, yelled at Marechiyo for one thing or another and told him what menial task to assign the subordinates. It almost felt as if the previous five days weren't spent being miserable with a multitude of bizarre men. Now would be a good time to point out Soifon loved routine, and loathed not being in total and complete control Her current and unusual predicament forced her to stray from comfortable normality and relinquish a fair bit of her beloved control to the unknown. Needless to say, this did _not _equal a happy Soifon.

Even her emotions were beyond her control, and this infuriated Soifon even more than either of the aforementioned issues. One moment she was brooding over the prospect of losing the bet, the next throwing some expensive piece of lacquerware against the wall and after that brimming over with an enthusiasm that could rival Momo's. It was like PMS, but without the massive craving for peanut butter brownies and tortilla chips. These random mood swings made the female captain feel weak, like she couldn't even keep herself in check. But more troubling was the thought of what had brought on this emotional craze. Sure, stress was taking its toll, but she'd managed to keep a level head in situations far more stressful than this. It could have been caused by the lack of sleep she had recently, but that seemed unlikely as well. All she could really do was pray things would return to safe and predictable normality.

But for the sake of plot and intrigue, we have to rule out that possibility. So as Soifon lounged upon her bed after the morning routine, moodily contemplating the chances of her winning the bet, she heard the faintest of sounds outside her door. It was a conversation, carried out in hushed, but not quite whispered, tones. For a moment, a bolt of panic shot through Soifon's mind. Was someone visiting? At such an early hour? She wouldn't put it past Momo (the girl had done it before), but why would she have someone else? Nervous silver eyes flicked down her body, she still had yet to change and was still garbed in a messily-tied and wrinkled ice-blue yukata. She turned her attention back to the faint sounds outside her door as keen ears tried to pick up the conversation.

"Don't worry, it'll be great." Oh yeah, that was definitely Momo. No other soul in the Seireitei could manage to be that optimistic.

"Will it really?", inquired a male voice, ever-so-slightly tinged with the harsh rasp of near-insanity, "What does she have planned? In-depth anatomical research? Live dissections?" A nervous laugh from Momo was heard in response.

"Well, I can't guarantee _that_, but I think you two may share a few similar interests."

"Oh, we'll see shortly." The creak of her door sounded and there the two stood - Momo Hinamori alongside Mayuri Kurotsuchi.

"Why, hello." Soifon managed to grit, attempting a smile that more or less resembled the snarl of an angry lioness preparing to pounce of a juicy piece of prey. "I'm sorry, Kurotsuchi, I had no idea you were coming. If I had known, no doubt I would have changed" This was accompanied by venomous leer directed toward Momo, who only briefly flinched under the pinning gaze. Mayuri cocked his head to the side with a metallic clank and his eerie amber eyes fixed on her.

"I doubt it'll be a problem, Soifon." he replied. For some reason, his reply was slightly discomforting.

"I apologize, Captain Soifon." Momo replied, putting on a rather convincing façade of formality, "But I knew you were free today, so I knew you wouldn't mind spending a bit of time researching with Captain Kurotsuchi." Soifon's eye twitched involuntarily. That bun-headed vice captain was totally putting words in her mouth. At the very least, Momo seemed to be over yesterday's aphrodisiac. Slowly, the duo entered the room, Mayuri taking it upon himself to start rummaging through Soifon's drawers (looking for heaven knows what) and Momo making extra effort to brush up against Soifon's side and shoot her a look of raw adoration. OK, maybe she wasn't _completely _over the aphrodisiac. However, the still slightly smitten shinigami was the least of her worries especially when _a captain she hardly knew was searching through her drawers. _

"Uh, Kurotsuchi!" Soifon had no qualms about letting anger seep into her voice. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Looking for a scalpel…"

"…Um, what?"

"I told you, or did you not hear me you incompetent woman? I'm looking for a _scalpel._" Soifon's eyes narrowed to icy slits. Alright, so Mayuri apparently thought it was perfectly OK to look through other peoples' private property in pursuit of random medical devices. Where did the man get his social mores from? Pokemon games? In attempt to get some support, she turned her gaze behind her to Momo, only to find the girl sifting curiously through her underwear drawer. Great, now both of them were at it. One simply because he was a freak of of nature, the other still under the freakish effects of Rangiku's dart. Gritting her teeth, the raven haired-shinigami leapt up and picked up Momo by her collar (despite the fact the chocolate-haired girl was an inch or two taller). This seemed to snap her back to reality.

"Ah…Sorry, I don't… Um, know what came over me."

"Um, yeah. Just, please, don't do it again. Now…" She turned her focus to getting Mayuri to stop, but he was apparently satisfied with an item he found in one of the oaken drawers.

"Ha! Found it!", he cried. "Yes, unusual design, but it'll work just fine as a makeshift scalpel!" Soifon cocked an eyebrow at the scientist-captain.

"Kurotsuchi, those are nail clippers."

"Do I look like I care?" he cried, throwing his arms out and losing the nail clippers in the process. "Do you always feel such an insatiable need to be correct? Or is this just some vendetta against me?"

"No need to get defensive…" Soifon murmured, nose wrinkling. Mayuri advanced, thrusting his face up to hers, eliciting a glare from the other.

"Listen, you do not mess with genius. Simply because you and the rest of your ilk are incompetent is no excuse to berate those who have some shred of intelligence!" He then drew back, pacing to and fro. "And what did I do with the scalpel?" At this point, Momo jumped back into the conversation.

"Maybe you two should head down to the 12th Division?" she propose carefully. "I'm sure all the tools Captain Kurotsuchi needs would be there." Soifon whipped around, shooting Momo a look that clearly cried 'Don't encourage him!'. Momo shrugged in response and Mayuri chuckled in the unsettling tone of his.

"I think Vice Captain Hinamori's idea is very good…" he started, "Come, Soifon…"

"I'm not a dog…", the other hissed, "And if you expect me to go, I'm going to change first."

"Ok." said Mayuri mildly.

"Sure." was Momo's enthusiastic response. For a solid 30 seconds, all three simply stood there until Soifon pursed her lips and clenched her fists.

"So, maybe the two of you should maybe, you know… Leave?"

Momo looked slightly crestfallen, but shuffled out the room, causing Soifon to turn her gaze expectantly on Mayuri.

"What do you want?", he inquired flatly.

"For you to leave."

"Why? I've studied countless human bodies before and I can assure you you're nothing I haven't seen before." At that, Soifon lost all will to comment and instead shook her head and retrieved the clothes she planned to wear. She then proceeded to pull the cover from her bed, drape it over herself and attempt to clumsily change under that. Mayuri watched with a good amount of amusement as Soifon stumbled about, cloaked in a comforter and swearing softly every now and then. Finally, after the pale blue nightwear fell to the ground in a rumpled heap, Soifon yanked the blanket off herself, rather ruffled but at least fully clothed save for the captain's haori. Shooting Mayuri a death glare (which didn't seem to phase him at all), she retrieved the snow-white haori from the top of her dresser and pulled it over her arms.

"Are you ready, now?" his voice oozed impatience.

"Fine." and with that, the two departed.

-

Soifon wasn't sure today qualified more as a date or an out-take from some twisted horror movie. As of current, she leaned more towards the latter.

She was locked in a tiny metallic-silver lab that smelled too strongly of bleach and ammonia. Jars containing several pickled… Things lined that walls, alongside twisted lumps that reminded Soifon of metal sculpture as well as some tiny dishes filled with various pills and powders. There was nothing semi-romantic or even social about it - she stood in the corner tapping her foot next to Nemu while Mayuri hovered over a table experimenting. Today, he was now attempting to fuse a coffee pot with a human foot. Because, you know, we _all _need to be able to create coffee inside our feet.

_And to think this is the research the Shinigami Tax System contributes to… _Soifon thought bitterly as she leaned against the cold metal wall and crossed arms over her chest. More than once, she'd attempted a few weak stabs at conversation, but they always fell flat, save for maybe a one word response from Nemu. Heaving a sigh of boredom, she turned to the quiet woman beside her.

"So do you usually just stand here and watch him?" she asked.

"My Lord usually requests I stay here in case he needs assistance or any materials I can retrieve. I try my best to stay helpful."

"Oh." Silence hung suspended in the air, save for an irritated growl from Mayuri and the sound of a wrench hitting the opposite wall that he'd thrown in rage.

"If I don't seem too intrusive," Nemu suddenly ventured. "May I inquire as to why you are here?" Soifon rolled her eyes in semi-amusement.

"Remember that other day at the meeting? When Matsumoto and I made a bet?" Nemu nodded her affirmation, "Yeah, well, that's why I'm here."

"Ah… I should apologize on behalf of My Lord. He's not the most… Affectionate of souls." As if she'd just made the greatest mistake, Nemu uncharacteristically began to stumble over her words. "N-not to say that he's not a good man. I mean - I -"

"I understand." Soifon cut her off. Suddenly, Mayuri's blazing ember-orange eyes snapped to them.

"What are you two fools blabbering on about?" he demanded, one hand planted on his hip, the other holding a screwdriver threateningly. Soifon stepped forward.

"We were discussing how stunningly unromantic you are." Usually, she wouldn't speak so bluntly but, truth to be told, she was _bored_. Perhaps aggravating him a bit would get her "conveniently" kicked out. That, or killed. It was a toss-up.

Instead, Mayuri simply 'tched' and wandered off into the next room muttering something about "sappy, witless women". He returned with a jar wrapped in white fabric that was slightly discolored in spots. He thrust the jar into Soifon's hands and then returned to the lab table to pour over the coffee pot-foot hybrid once more. Slowly, warily, Soifon unwrapped the jar to find some sort of organ suspended in thick liquid. She yelped and nearly dropped the jar, while Nemu looked totally unsurprised. Once she managed to swallow back her disgust, Soifon glanced once more at the organ and then Mayuri.

"Um, Kurotsuchi, what _is _this."

"A heart," he replied as if it was totally obvious. "I know I was suppose to give you mine, but I rather need it. Besides, giving you mine would be a waste of valuable tissue. That one, however, was worthless. So you can have it." Soifon decided not to say she really didn't _want _it.

"That's what I meant…" Nemu muttered, looking at her feet as if she were ashamed.

"Hmmph." was Soifon's response as she gingerly set the pickled heart on one of the metallic shelves next to a set of serrated knives used for heaven's knows what. For awhile, silence reigned as everyone was left to their own devices. Suddenly, a frustrated snarl sounded from Mayuri as he banged done fist on the table.

"You!" he pointed an accusing finger at Soifon, who merely cocked her head to the side.

"What…?" she demanded, brow furrowed.

"Since you're at least slightly more intelligent than my idiotic, pitiful excuse for a daughter, I need you to help me." That almost sounded vaguely like a compliment coming from Mayuri.

"And how would I go about doing so?"

"You'll go back there," he said, gesturing to the room he'd pulled the heart from. And on the left side there will be a set of a dozen or so buttons, amongst those, one of them will be red and one green. One will override the power and the other will trigger the self-destructive system. Hit the one that says 'Override Allotted Power'." Soifon raised an eyebrow.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" she ventured. Suddenly, Mayuri was in her face, his breath hot on her forehead as he stared down at her and his arms on the wall besides her, pinning her in place.

"Are you questioning me? Hn... Your type are just too feisty for your own good. Anyways, I need the power to jolt the foot and try to kick the coffee pot into working. You will do as I say…"

"Or what?"

"Or you'll become the first captain I've ever dissected. Oh, and I'll have one helluva time doing it..."

"You couldn't take me." she challenged with a gleam in her eye.

"You wanna bet?"

"Sorry, I'm already part of one."

"Ah, I've heard…" his grin suddenly turned sickly sweet as he took a dramatic change of tactics, "And if you do as I say, I'll willingly say I enjoyed having you as my 'lab assistant'." Soifon perked up in interest. This was too good to be true. She hardly had to do anything - simply press a button and she won. How much easier could it get?

"Deal, Kurotsuchi." she ducked lithely under one of him arms and set off into the small room. Instead of cold metal, the walls were sterile, antiseptic white (even less inviting then the wards of the Fourth Division) and a large control panel whirred and flashed. Just as the captain had said, in the dead center were two buttons - one glaring red and the other equally bright neon green. She smirked to herself, getting hyped up for the win, and smashed her hand down on the green button.

_Ah, look at that. _she thought smugly _I've won._

Or, at least, she thought she had.

Sirens began to scream, the high-pitched wail making Soifon shrink back and lights of blinding white and red began to flash. Mayuri was by her side in an instant, furious.

"What did you do?" he roared over the whine of sirens.

"I pressed the button? Isn't that what I supposed to do?"

"Which did you press?"

"The green one!"

"You fool! The green is self-destruct! The red is override!"

"Who in the hell makes green the self-destruct?"

"Shut up, you idiot! And if you value your life, you'll get out of here this instant!" Panic flared in her mind as Soifon flash-stepped through the halls behind Mayuri and Nemu, dodging between equally terrified Division members also on their way out. Finally, the three escaped and breathed a sigh of relief. Mayuri turned to her, panting but still clearly raging. "Do you realize what you've done?" he gestured to the division building and, as if on cue, the entire thing's roof was blown off, leaving more than a few shaken shinigami inside, staring shocked outside and amazed they weren't in pieces.

"It's your fault," Soifon scoffed, ever defensive. "If you'd have pressed your own button, this wouldn't have happened. Or, you could have been like the rest of the sensible population and painted the self-destruction option red. Or, even better, stuck a label on the thing!"

"Don't blame me because you have the sense of a mewling kitten!"

Nemu merely tried to warn them the building was slowly crumbling but, finding that futile, watched the argument unfold between captains.

-

With a cross between a whine and sigh, the silver-eyed commander fell on her bed, limbs aching with weariness. After a long few hours of helping to restore the destroyed Division, she'd finally been permitted to return to her Division at nightfall and attempt to get some rest. Things were worse than ever - she was responsible for the collapse of the entire research division, she was on the last of Yamamoto's nerves (immensely unsettling for one who always did her best to stay on his good side) and there was one shot for her left in the bet. In all honesty, Soifon was on the verge of giving up. A part of her insisted that it was better to keep going and lose gracefully, but the logical side reminded her it was pointless to keep going for one more day of misery. She had already accepted Rangiku was right - she couldn't get a guy to save her life (let's face it, her life was almost on the line today) and who knows… Maybe she _did _have some deep-rooted feelings for Yoruichi. Uncomfortable with the possibility, she rolled over with a growl of frustration and buried her face in her pillow and inhaled the familiar scent, reveling in the shallow and momentary comfort. Her feline mentor was a teacher, a friend, a sister of sorts… And that was it.

That was it.

That was it, indeed, Soifon's final thought before she fell to sleep. She didn't know what awaited her in the morning, but she didn't care. She'd find out when the time came.

Life was getting way too stressful for her tastes.

-

Again, yuck, sorry for the utter crappiness of this chapter. As far as out final guy, I'm keeping my lips sealed on this one. I'll be mean for once and force all of ya to wait... I'll say this though, it may or may not be a captain. Heck, it might not even be a shinigami. You'll just have to see, then, woncha?


	10. Fire in the SkyXXFire in my Heart

**Author's Note: **I know... I know...I've been MIA for awhile. It was one thing after another - vacation, food poisoning, some funky respitory virus, AP Test and an Adobe Illustrator project for art I had to finish up in my free time. However, rejoice, as I am back with the long-awaited Chapter Ten. I swear, I had this one done about a week ago and then I reread it and - BAM! I deleted the whole thing. I just hated how it played out, and that was followed by a bout of killer writer's block, so it was difficult to rewrite.. I finally got this version's idea when I was taking a shower after Aikido, and I ended up staying up way later than I should have just so I could get the basic gist down before I forgot it. Though it's not, technically speaking, as well written as my other chapters, I'm rather fond of this one. There's a couple fun twists - nothing too wild, but fun nonetheless. Anyways, soon things are gonna be coming to a close... Savor it while it lasts, readers...

If I owned Bleach, this would honestly be a canon part of the plot. Some of you would love that, some of you would hate it - but the point is it's not, so I obviously don't own Bleach.

-

She must have awoken at some point in the night.

Silent as the milky night itself, Soifon padded quietly across her room and out onto the small balcony connected to her suite. The waxing crescent moon hung high amongst a field of stars in the sky, indicating it was sometime near midnight. Soft, cool breezes, soothing after such scorching days, wisped through the air, rattling the trees and smoothing over Soifon's pale, scar-laced skin. It was as if the night was trying to comfort her, trying to allay the fears she refused to show. She inhaled the sharp air and leaned up against the balcony railing. Suddenly, a figure jumped up on the railing, staring at Soifon through molten yellow eyes. A small hiss of surprise escaped her throat, but the figure, a cat upon closer inspection, didn't seem to care. It simply licked a forepaw and swiped it over its ear only to repeat the motion. Soifon studied the feline, dark as the inky sky above them.

"Yoruichi…?" she asked softly, feeling as ridiculous as ever for talking to a cat. The cat didn't respond, only kept cleaning itself. "Is… That you?" Again, no response from the cat." Realizing the creature was simply a cat, not the former Commander, Soifon began stroking the feline, running her hand from the crown of its head to where its tail began. Even when she was young, before meeting her former mentor, she always had a soft spot for cats. The feline purred its approval, then suddenly rounded on Soifon, lashing out with thorn-sharp claws and equally sharp teeth. Blood poured from Soifon's hand, the fluid seeming to burn like fire as it ran down her forearm in scarlet streams. The cat began to shift, sleek and gleaming jet fur turning long and fluffy and ash-grey in hue. Its eyes morphed from gold to ember-colored orange. Only then it began to speak.

"Don't." it simply muttered. Unnerving was that this strange cat was talking, even more unnerving was that it spoke in Rangiku's voice. Once more, the cat threw itself at Soifon, shredding at her flesh.

-

Icy sweat pouring down her skin, Soifon shot up in bed. Her platinum eyes were wide with a mix of confusion and terror. It was all a dream, only a dream… As if trying to rid herself of the last surreal shreds of her dream that clouded her mind, she vigorously shook her head from side to side, feeling the cloth-wrapped tendrils of hair whip up against her body. A glance out the window revealed the first vivid traces of dawn oozing over the horizon, smearing the sky with dusky pink and orange. Wishing it had been the middle of the night, simply so she could steal a few more snatches of sleep, Soifon shuffled out her lukewarm sanctuary and stretched while biting back a yawn. Images from the dream, far clearer than they should have been, still fluttered through her mind. What did it _mean? _Then, she scoffed at herself. Dreams didn't _mean _anything. They were a random assortment of images that her brain probably dreamed up at one point all thrown onto one nonsensical montage. That was it.

And yet, it still left a sour taste in her mouth.

-

"Omaeda." Soifon addressed her vice captain, voice low and short, "What are the reports from yesterday? I apologize for not being present." The rotund man, who had been nestled on a couch in the division lounge, munching from his ever-present bag of rice chips, suddenly stiffed and cleared his throat.

"Captain," he boomed, "Seats Three, Four and Five took care of what appeared to be a few wayward ryoka. These were confirmed not to be the orange-haired kid's group. In addition, I assigned twenty below them to complete a patrol around the North Side, and another fifteen to investigate the West Side, where there was a high concentration of energy, but they couldn't locate the source of the pressure." Marechiyo shrunk back slightly. He had expected a kick to the face upon mentioning something was even semi-uncertain. Instead, Soifon nodded distractedly.

"OK. Thank you. You can return to whatever you were doing." Marechiyo only screwed up his face in response. What was _up _with his captain?

"Oh, yes…" he began, one seemingly insignificant piece of information resurfacing in his mind. "Yesterday, Captain Hitsugaya stopped by. He said he needed to speak with you, nothing more." This seemed to intrigue Soifon.

"Hitsugaya?"

"Yeah. He said either to stop by the 10th or he'll come by later today."

"Alright…" Soifon murmured, apparently deep in thought. "I'll be back later, maybe. You're in charge again, Omaeda."

"O-Ok, Captain…" Just when he thought he had her figured out…

-

She flash-stepped her way to the 10th Headquarters, unbearably curious as to what Toshiro wanted with her. She entered the spacious building, requested to see the Captain, was led to his office by a rather skittish unseated member who seemed to trip every three seconds. Finally, they arrived at his office and the other member scurried off as Soifon rapped at his door. There was no response, so she tried again.

And again.

Once more.

Still no response.

Huffing with impatience, she edged closer to the door and strained to hear if there was any sort of life within the room. There were hushed voices - one young male, obviously Toshiro, and one female. They seemed to be in deep discussion over some topic… Feeling slightly guilty about listening in on the conversation, Soifon slowly pushed open the door and cleared her throat just softly enough to alert them of her presence. Instantly, two pairs of eyes - one rich, deep brown and another vibrant teal, fixed on her.

"Ah, Captain Soifon!" Toshiro said as he stood up, "Your timing is nothing short of impeccable. We were just talking about you.

"Yep!" agreed Momo, who apparently was Toshiro's companion. The foreign glaze had long faded from her eyes, and she was clearly over the contents of the dart from two days ago.

"Oh," Soifon muttered, honestly surprised at her timely arrival. "Well, then…" she ended, lost for what to say. Nodding professionally, Toshiro approached her and stared up into her grey eyes. For a moment, a stab of pride raced through Soifon. She was the second shortest captain in the Gotei 13, and felt oddly tall beside Toshiro. She didn't have the heart to remind herself one day he'd probably out-grow her as well.

"Anyways, I've heard a few times over about your… Predicament." the white-haired boy began while crossing his arms over his chest. "And I've talked to Momo. I by no means approve of my vice captain's actions and, as apology for her ridiculous behavior, I'm more than willing to be your final 'date'." He accompanied this statement with the addition of air quotes." A bolt of happiness raced through Soifon. So Momo had managed to overcome her own doubts and consult Toshiro. This was perhaps the greatest thing she'd managed in the past week yet. Toshiro was reasonable beyond doubt, and knew more than anyone what an absolute pain his vice captain could be. "Now, ordinarily, I'd just skip over the whole physical process of actually going out. But, I know today Matsumoto will be exceptionally watchful and will be trailing you. However, if you can just follow my lead for the day, I can assure you things will appear to be successful, and Matsumoto will be unable to have any doubt in our mutual enjoyment." If Soifon weren't so prideful, she might be compelled to fall upon her knees, sink to the ground and thank him with every ounce of her being. Still, the woman did have some dignity she intended to preserve. Instead, she simply allowed raw gratitude to taint her gaze.

"I don't think words can quite express my thanks, Hitsugaya." her words were received with a good-natured smirk.

"Don't forget, I also gain quite a bit out of this deal. I get to watch my vice captain suffer at your hands, so to speak." the devious gleam in his aqua eyes agreed with his words. "Now, go back to your division, get ready and be back here at five o'clock, alright?" Momo bounced up and strolled over to Soifon's side, finally able to share a triumphant gaze with her usually uptight companion.

"We've got this in the bag, Soifon." she reassured, the fierce light of victory dancing about in her eyes, "Just watch."

-

From what Momo had told her, apparently Toshiro had set up the date in such a way it would be glaringly clear to Rangiku. They were to spend the evening atop the 10th Division's roof, simply enjoy the temperate evening and then later watch a new display of fireworks the Shibas had dreamed up (even when in Rukongai, the Shiba fireworks lit up the sky like dozens of suns). Toshiro knew Rangiku had a bit of a soft spot for fireworks, and always spent her own evenings watching the starbursts of color in the sky. If Rangiku would be watching from the rooftop, as she always did, she would be forced to acknowledge Toshiro and Soifon. It really was a clever move on the young captain's part.

And for the first time in the week, Soifon looked forward to preparing for the evening (though she refused to let anyone know it) . After all, she wanted to look stunning when she won. It was a superficial, but thoroughly understandable, desire. Keeping in step with the theme, the silver-eyed woman picked the single piece of dressy wear she had for the night - a deep crimson kimono, painstakingly embroidered with snowy-white cranes. As she pulled the garment from her dresser, the silk seemed to flow over her skin like liquid. Since the temperature for the evening had cooled slightly, she needn't worry that the stunning kimono was too heavy or stifling. Feeling uncharacteristically excited, she pulled the clothes over herself and relished the smooth slide of silk over flesh. Momo looked on with approval as Soifon tied the obi carefully about herself.

"Perfect." the girl said with an affirmative nod to reinforce her point. "Absolutely perfect color for you."

"Really?" Soifon asked as she examined her reflection in the mirror. Really, her hesitant question was only an excuse to catch another glimpse of herself garbed in rich crimson with sleek, clean raven hair, supple, moisturized skin and a gleam of pride in her eye. She practically exuded confidence.

"You even seem more sure of yourself." Momo commented as she took it upon herself to straighten the edges of her companion's clothing, "You didn't have that these past few times." Stealing another glance at herself, Soifon agreed, keeping her head high.

"I suppose I do."

-

By the time Soifon had finished preening, the sky had swapped it's clear azure for dusky violet. An air of confidence surrounding her, she strode into the 10th division with Momo at her side, who was similarly garbed. Upon entering, she saw none other than Rangiku lounging on the couch, flipping idly through a magazine. With the approach of the duo, Rangiku's mist-blue eyes looked up and widened in shock.

"Soifon… And Momo…? What are you two doing here?" her voice was more or less curious, but a note of incredulousness still rang clear. Feeling too arrogant as to be fazed by Rangiku, the female captain simply smirked.

"I'm here for a date." she said quite simply.

"With who?" Rangiku demanded.

"With me." Toshiro's voice sounded form behind her. As Rangiku's head whipped around to look at her captain, the expression on her face was utterly _priceless_. A unique mix of befuddlement, surprise and the realization she just might lose the bet. The other three shinigami simply watched, savoring that shocked face of Rangiku's. The fiery-haired woman opened her mouth to say something, but fell short of uttering any words, instead, only a small squeak emerged from her throat. Indulging in another smile, Toshiro stepped out form behind the couch and approached the pair of visitors. He was also dressed formally - a dark blue kimono decorated with lighter dragons that seemed to dance over the fabric. The blues set off his naturally cold tones, rather than contrasting them as Soifon had done. And up against him, she appeared a brand of fire sheathed in crimson. The commander quickly stole a glance at Momo, and saw the younger shinigami's eyes were wide as she took in the sight of her childhood friend dressed so richly. Now ignoring Rangiku, who looked on with irritated distaste, he turned to Soifon and held out one hand (which, somewhat ironically, was smaller than Soifon's own) and dipped his head.

"Now, should we head up?" he inquired. The trio exchanged a knowing, satisfied glance as Toshiro and Soifon headed up the stairs, hand in hand as Momo followed behind them.

-

Soifon had to give the 10th Division some credit. The view from their roof was infinitely better than the view from her own division. The rooftops overlooked an elaborate garden and pond and past that, a view of the thriving marketplace that glistened with lights, whereas the Second got a lovely picture of the back of the stark Third Division and some deserted training grounds.

"Pretty nice, isn't it?" Toshiro prompted, catching her staring at the sight. She could tell he was trying to get her to open up a bit. Perhaps a week ago, she would have shrugged off the attempt at conversation. However, whether Soifon knew it or not, this past week had quite an impact on her. Though still the cold and focused captain she had been, she was a little more receptive to others and, heaven forbid, a bit more approachable. Suddenly, Rangiku appeared on the other side of the roof, shooting a glare that could kill at the duo. Her eyes spoke for her - 'I hate you both.' clear in her gaze. Soifon shook her head, and Rangiku's leer in the process.

"It is beautiful…" she replied, "The Second has nothing worth looking at."

"It has you, doesn't it?" was Toshiro's response. Soifon's clear silver gaze harshly snapped up, questioning. Toshiro stifled a snicker and nodded slightly to Rangiku who was now bristling with the prospect the two were actually doing well and complimenting each other at that. She understood immediately and began to share in the sadistic pleasure of slowly torturing the blonde who'd proposed the bet.

"Oh, you're so cute, Hitsu - Toshiro," she caught herself in time. Dropping the last name would add another degree of faux intimacy.

"Call me Snowy." the boy replied, a wide smile crawling over his face. Suddenly, Rangiku stopped her current process of turning a fiery shade of red and regained her level head. Something was definitely _not _right here. Toshiro refused 'Snowy' from Momo, the one person he'd known since, well, almost forever. Why would he suddenly let Soifon, who he had very little contact prior to recently with, call him that? That, and 'cute' was just _not _a word that sounded right coming from Soifon's mouth. She couldn't imagine the Commander saying it in any situation. It didn't make sense.

_I understand… _Rangiku thought, realization hitting her over the head like a brick _They're trying to trick me! Uggh, I'd expect it from Soifon… But my own captain? Oh, he's getting it now! _Doing her best to remain semi-innocent-looking, she stood and calmly strode over to the three.

"Oh, what's up Rangiku?" Momo inquired with a false degree of cheer, covering for Toshiro and Soifon who were on the verge of bursting out into laughter.

"Oh, nothing." her was thick with mock nonchalance. "I just hope it would be alright if I invited a couple friends over." Momo glanced at Toshiro. Rangiku had something up her sleeve, but with the way that women thought, it could easily be a case of reverse psychology. Before anyone had a chance to respond, Rangiku leapt agilely off the roof. "Thanks!" she called, now out of sight.

"Matsumoto!" Toshiro called, regaining his sense. His words fell on deaf ears.

-

"Hey Izuru…" Rangiku greeted as she stumbled upon the blonde man. His blue eyes studied her suspiciously.

"Rangiku…? What are you plotting?" he ventured. She never looked this happy unless she was plotting. Or drunk. But she obviously wasn't drunk. Which means she was plotting. That was pretty much Izuru's pattern of thought.

"Yeah, about that… How would you like to come and watch some fireworks with me?"

"Um, are you sure -" Izuru started, but was quickly interrupted.

"Yep!" In all honesty, Rangiku didn't know (and really didn't care) what he was going to say. "Now, what I really need to know is do you know where Yachiru is?"

"This really can't be good…"

-

Meanwhile, Toshiro, Momo and Soifon all discussed what would be their plan of action should Toshiro's relentless Vice Captain attempt sabotage. Again. For the third time.

"Alright, so, all we can really do is knock her out." was Soifon's simple answer.

"Yeah, but that would be a little suspicious." Momo pointed out.

"It didn't stop you with hitting me with a chair." the female captain retorted.

"That was different!" the girl objected. "You were drunk! And turned on! We had no choice -"

"That's not the point!" Toshiro growled. "We're in the here and now. As much as I want to hit her upside the head, it probably would not be the best course of action."

"Then what -" Their heated discussion was interrupted by the sounds of several others climbing up onto the roof. Instantly, Toshiro and Soifon pulled their act together and tried to appear 'cuddly' with each other (while trying their best to not actually _be _cuddly), while Momo put on her best 'Aw, they're so cute' expression. Rangiku, as to be expected, clambered onto the roof. She was proceeded by a sullen-looking Izuru, who sighed guiltily. Last was Yachiru Kusajishi - who effectively made Toshiro sway on the spot, Soifon twitch, Momo face palm and Rangiku smile deviously.

"Hey, Momo and you two little lovebirds." Rangiku's tone was sugary-sweet, so saccharine it made Soifon want to retch. "I brought along my buddies, Izuru and Yachiru. I hope you all don't mind?" Needless to say, everyone _minded_. Just no one said so.

For perhaps 20 minutes, everything went smoothly, but it wasn't truly calm. It was more akin to the calm before a storm, knowing something terrible was about it happen. Rangiku's little group stayed off on their side of the roof, looking innocent enough while the other trio watched them like hawks while still attempting to appear to have a good time. No one missed the tension in the air and then, so typical of the hyperactive Vice Captain, Yachiru burst out.

"Why's everyone so quiet?" her shrill voice rang through the air.

"Ah, Yachiru?" Rangiku's own satisfied voice sounded from the edge of the roof, "Do you really wanna know? Come over here really quick…" Toshiro and Soifon tensed while Momo looked wary. For a few moments, Rangiku whispered into the pink-headed girl's ear, before the latter pulled away with a stunned 'Really?!'. "Really." The woman affirmed with a nod. Yachiru leapt up, rich brown eyes wide with excitement. Suddenly, unexpectedly, she darted across the roof with a speed roughly comparable to that of a cheetah on crack and flung herself at Toshiro.

"CANDY!" she screeched, latching onto his face like some sort of demonic pink leech. The boy was thrown off balance, now sprawled out on the roof while Yachiru rambled endlessly on about the prospect of him possessing candy. Toshiro's objections were muffled.

"Aw, Thawchiru! Gerroff my thace! Nohhhw!" Momo instantly stood up, attempting to coax the child-Vice Captain off Toshiro. Meanwhile, Soifon turned to Rangiku, glaring daggers. In response, the strawberry-blonde shrugged.

"Oh dear…" she sighed, with a shake of her head. "I didn't know Yachiru would react as violently as she did. My apologies."

"You…" was all Soifon could force out of her mouth, voice sharp with rage. She was momentarily torn between dealing with Rangiku or trying to pry Yachiru off her date. The second idea won over her favor.

"But Big Boobies says you have candy!" Yachiru now explained. She had abandoned clinging to Toshiro's face and was now conducting some sort of search through every fold of his clothes for the aforementioned candy. "I want it!"

"Arrrgh! Kusajishi!" the white-haired boy snapped, "I have nothing! No candy! Nothing that would even remotely interest you!" Momo's voice of reason was lost as the two screamed at each other.

"Yes! Yes, you do!" Yachiru insisted. "I _know _you do!" It was then Soifon took initiative. She strode to the two, flaring her reiatsu in hopes it would intimidate the persistent pink officer.

"Kusajishi!" her voice snapped through the air like a whip. "I order you to get off of Captain Hitsugaya or I will have to take measures to forcibly remove you." Yachiru's face contorted as she sized up Soifon.

"You can't order me." she said, seemingly uninterested with Soifon's presence and going back to searching Toshiro, who was loudly vocalizing his objection.

"Soifon," Momo's voice just briefly rose above the sounds of chaos. "Don't do anything rash, let's just try to reason with Yachiru and -"

"Hinamori, reasoning with Kusajishi is like reasoning with a rock. It will _not _work." Soifon turned once more to the pink-haired terror, "Are you forgetting I am of a higher rank than you? But fine, don't listen to me. I'll just take you out myself." She grabbed Yachiru's legs and began to attempt to pull the Vice Captain from Toshiro. But to no avail - Yachiru was still firmly adhered to the other. Instead of budging, she craned her head to look at the Second Division's Captain, a smirk wide on her face.

"Ya sure you wanna do that Ninja-Bee?"

"You did not just call me that."

"I did!" These words only prompted Soifon to tug harder on her legs. However, it was then she was promptly outwitted by the equivalent of a four-year-old.

At the very moment when Soifon's pull was the strongest, Yachiru released Toshiro and the two went flying backwards (Yachiru giggling along the way, it should be noted). It wouldn't have been so bad if this incident had occurred say, on the ground, however, the factor to take into consideration is that they were roughly _36 feet in the air._

And so, Soifon fell backwards, off the roof and land with a painful-sounding thud in the ground below into a tangle of bushes and briars that poked at her and snared in her clothes. If that wasn't bad enough, the prickly undergrowth didn't stop her from rolling down the incline into the rather sizable pond the 10th Division overlooked. Somewhere along the way and slippery as ever, Yachiru weaseled out of her grasp and bounced back up onto the roof, most likely to attempt to mug Toshiro for candy once more.

With a splash and a desperate gasp for air, the inky-haired captain rose to the surface of the lake, clothes in tatters and soaked with a mix of blood and water. "Pitiful…" Soifon spat to herself as she examined her damp self, the dripping kimono clinging uncomfortably to her skin. Then, a sudden howl from the roof distracted her and she looked back to the main building of the 10th only to see Toshiro falling off the roof in a manner very similar to her own fall and Yachiru after him (though she appeared to be having a grand old time with this whole chaotic, sugar-induced mess). The crash of bodies in brambles and the two rolled down into the lake where she stood. "Oh, sh-" was all Soifon could utter before she was pushed back underwater with the mass of both Toshiro and Yachiru. There was a tangle of limbs underwater, a few misplaced kicks and, swift as they came, the young genius and hyperactive girl was gone again, in hot pursuit as Toshiro loudly swore his revenge.

-

Meanwhile, Rangiku and Izuru had lept off the roof and were currently running to the 11th Division.

"Um, why are we running again?" Izuru inquired as he matched Rangiku's pace.

"You'll see." was her short answer.

"Do I really want to?"

"C'mon, Izuru. Live a little!" Rangiku exclaimed, watching with immense pleasure, though knowing full-well she may be condemned to paperwork for life by her captain when this night was over. Not that it mattered - she could always dump it on Soifon once she'd won this little bet.

"You have a sick sense of humor…" the man replied.

"Oh, this is sick at all. Once we set stage 2 of my plan into action, then you'll see sick."

-

Many bruises, scratches, lacerations, puncture wounds and burns (though no one was really quite sure how _those_ happened) later, Soifon and Toshiro had Yachiru pinned down, her shrill voice muffled by Toshiro's palm over her mouth. Momo had descended from the roof and helped the duo, mainly by blocking Yachiru's path.

"Alright, we got her." Toshiro panted, wiping his sweat-soaked brow with his equally soaked sleeve.

"Yeah, at the cost of a couple pounds of flesh." was Soifon's biting reply as she wiped her bloodied arm on the grass. Then, the hollers of distant shinigami made the trio perk up. The sounds grew closer.

"What is that?" Momo asked, eyes cloudy with confusion.

And closer.

"I… Have no idea, but I don't like the sound of it." Toshiro admitted.

And still closer.

"Me either." was Soifon's short reply.

And it was then a pack of around 20 11th Division members burst into sight of the three battered, sopping and exhausted shinigami, eyeing them suspiciously.

"What are you doing with Vice Captain Kusajishi?" one bulky one with an ugly mustache demanded, pointing his sword at them.

"Um…" was the only response they could muster. Three high-ranked officers holding another to the ground was a little _too _reminiscent of the "Aizen-incident" much of the Soul Society wished to forget. So, for the good of their world - or so they thought - the 11th Division did what they did best.

Attacked.

From there, the bruises and cuts multiplied and things got even worse. Screams, hollers, the scrape of steel, the grunts and pants of battle all sounded in what remained of the 10th garden. Worse yet, serving as some sort of sick irony, the sky erupted with fireworks of every color.

-

Bitterly, Soifon noted tonight had been no different than the other six nights - a total failure. She was one of the lucky ones - one of the few who was proclaimed able enough to go back to her own devices. Both Momo and Toshiro as well as 95 percent of the 11th attackers needed treatment (thought thankfully nothing was too severe). Heavy-hearted, she shuffled off to the comfort of her own room. Had she honestly expected success? Tonight had only caused pain for herself and others, as the whole week had. Seven days… She'd had seven days to find a date, to find love. All she'd found was bitterness, hate… Seven days of hate…

But then, she never believed in happy endings anyways.

-

So, there's Chapter 10. Things aren't shaping up to be very good... The only guy who willingly agreed to testify for Soifon is out of the picture, and the seven days are up. However, the story's not over yet and things may turn around. You'll just have to see next chapter, then, won't ya? Perhaps some reviews would...Ah, y'know, _motivate_ me to get the next chapter up sooner...

Now, ya gotta tell me, Sasami… Just how close were we with those ideas?


	11. Halcyon Days to Melancholy Nights

**Author's Note: **So, the more I reread this story of mine, the more I have the odd desire to rewrite it. Of course, I'll never get around to it, but the early chapters are so short and, frankly, so 'bleh', I'm kinda embarrased looking back on them. Since I began those, I've been writing ALOT more, and I've had the expirience of more advanced composition techniques in my AP English class. So, I'm happy I've improved, but at the same time I'm really embarrased, y'know?

Anyways, I suppose I should note this is the second-to-last chapter. After this, there'll only be one more chapter (cue sobbing audience) and a brief epilogue and then... It'll all be over. Nuuu! So, enjoy it while it lasts...

Oh, and I'm well-aware the start of this chapter is ((cough)) remarkably similar to that of last chapter... Blame my lack of creativity at the time?

If I owned Bleach, I'd be rich. Like, totally rich. However, it's clear I'm not totally rich, and thus, I don't own Bleach.

-

It was like déjà vu.

Silent as the milky night itself, Soifon padded quietly across her room and out onto the small balcony connected to her suite. The waxing crescent moon hung high amongst a field of stars in the sky, indicating it was sometime near midnight. Soft, cool breezes, soothing after such scorching days, wisped through the air, rattling the trees and smoothing over Soifon's pale, scar-laced skin. It was as if the night was trying to comfort her, trying to allay the fears she refused to show. She inhaled the sharp air and leaned up against the balcony railing. Suddenly, a figure jumped up on the railing, staring at Soifon through molten yellow eyes. A small hiss of surprise escaped her throat, but the figure, a cat upon closer inspection, didn't seem to care. It simply licked a forepaw and swiped it over its ear only to repeat the motion. Soifon studied the feline, dark as the inky sky above them.

"Yoruichi…?" she asked softly, feeling as ridiculous as ever for talking to a cat. The cat didn't respond, only kept cleaning itself. "Is… That you?" This time, the cat's almond-shaped eyes swiveled up to Soifon, and she swore she could have seen a smirk play over the animal's muzzle.

"Yup." the creature responded in a baritone voice with a switch of the tail. "Whatcha up to, my Little Bee?" There was a snap, a few wisps of silver-white smoke, and no feline was present, just a naked, dark-skinned woman with a broad smile on her face. Fighting back an embarrassed blush, Soifon chose to ignore the question posed to her.

"Can I get you some clothes, Yoruichi?" she gritted, while turning away. Yoruichi simply stretched luxuriously while indulging in a prolonged yawn.

"Nah, that's alright. Clothes are too restrictive."

"Seriously… It would be rather inappropriate if someone happened to stumble in here and you're sitting there…" Soifon paused as she wandered back into her room, rummaging through her closet. "Unclothed." She tossed the former Commander some simple clothes, who grudgingly pulled them over her head while murmuring something about 'wet blankets' and 'spoilsports'. She had just barely managed to squeeze her physique into the garments tailored for the slight shinigami. Meanwhile, Soifon didn't say much of anything in response, only leaned against her doorframe and wondered why Yoruichi would choose, of all times, to show up now.

"Anyways," the older women began once more, bouncing back to her trademark good temper, "You said if someone happened to 'stumble in here'." Teasing played into her tone, "So, c'mon, tell me… Who are you expecting? Who would have thought the Little Bee would be so up for a late-night romp?" Gold and silver, eyes of polar opposites, connected until Soifon tore her eyes away, staring into the jet shadows that played across the walls and floor.

"No one." she breathed, the realization she had lost the bet sinking in once more, "My brief foray into the dating field is over."

"Really?" this seemed to pique the violet-haired woman's interest. "Who all did you go with?" The younger of the two flopped down on her bed and sighed as she began to count off the names.

"Captains Kuchiki, Zaraki, Ukitake, Komamura, Kyoraku, Kurotsuchi and Hitsugaya."

"Wow…" was Yoruichi's stunned response, "Seven men… Captains, no less! Soifon, you get around, doncha?"

"You don't know half the story…" she muttered as she buried her face in a pillow.

"Well, we got quite a bit of time." responded Yoruichi, stealing a glance out the window at the high moon to emphasize her point. "And unless you're so intent on getting rid of me, which you don't appear to be, I'm not going anywhere."

Realizing the dark-skinned woman didn't plan on leaving without a full detailing of the past week, with every juicy little detail intact, Soifon started at the beginning.

-

After a solid hour of heart-pouring, Yoruichi's unrestrained giggling and a few snappy comments in response to aforementioned unrestrained giggling, Soifon found herself feeling a little better than before. Yoruichi's comments made facing the hard truth - she sucked with men (unless it consisted of kicking their butts on a regular basis) - a little easier. It was always why the duo gotten along (foregoing the whole leaving-the-Soul-Society mess), Yoruichi could always lighten up Soifon, who in turn was the reasonable, practical mind between the two. To some degree, it was the perfect partnership.

"Thank you." Soifon grudgingly admitted when the conversation seemed to taper off. "Your input seemed to make things…" She paused, at a loss for words.

"Better?" Yoruichi offered, "Easier? More bearable? Well, it's nice to know I'm good for something." She stretched her arms above her head and then lowered them, her lips wide in yawn. There was a fleeting moment of silence, until -

"You could say that." Soifon's head bowed, and an indescribable tension lingered in the air, heavy and stifling. Softly, voice just strong enough to be audible, she continued, "You never gave me a clear answer, Yoruichi… Why did you leave me?"

"Tch… You thought I left because of you?"

"Well, no, but…" Soifon turned around, gazing out the window and shuddering. A nonexistent breeze seemed to pass through the room, and suddenly the air felt very cold. "Why didn't you take me with you?" The cheery attitude that surrounded Yoruichi like a veil melted into nothingness… Vanished, just like that. Voice soft, the violet-haired woman offered her response.

"If I had taken you, it could have been dangerous for both of us. Furthermore, I knew you had talent. I wanted you to succeed, above all. If you'd have followed me to Kisuke, there would have been no way to temper and tone that untapped talent. Look at how successful you are - Commander and a Captain." There was the crisp rustle of linen as Yoruichi slipped off of the foot of Soifon's bed and approached her from behind, laying a comforting hand on the graceful curve of her former protégé's shoulder.

"I wouldn't have cared…" Soifon's voice was just louder than a whisper, slightly rough with bitten back, choked sobs, "I wanted to stay with you… I'd have given every shred of talent or whatever if I could have gone with you. You were my idol."

"And you were like a sister to me. And I cared about you. I did what I did for a reason. Now…" Yoruichi's hand briefly streamed through Soifon's silken hair, "By the way what shampoo do you use? You have such soft hair."

"Yoruichi…" was Soifon's exasperated sigh. She'd just effectively ruined the evocation-of-inner-strength tangent.

"Seriously though… What do you gain when dwelling so intently on the past? We're here in the now. I'm here, you're here and we're both better than ever. Soifon - the past is behind you. Forget all the heartache. Live for now."

"I doubt you'll ever understand," the captain's words were bitter, and her tone followed suit, "What I lived through - it left a scar. Maybe not tangible, but a scar all the same. It's crippling, and I feel as if I've spent my whole life limping along."

"But as long as you move forward," Yoruichi's continued, "Does it matter whether you or limp or not? Limp if you so please, but at least limp forward. Because, frankly, using an event so many years ago to justify your faults isn't reason, it's cowardice.".

"That was uncharacteristically philosophical of you, Yoruichi." Soifon sighed as she cracked her neck. The other's words stung like the edge of a blade, true, but they also offered a bit of insight she'd been blinded to. And, perhaps this was really the time when she needed to hear them. "But… I think you're right." She turned to meet the other's gaze and for a moment, a glance of understanding passed between them. Unspoken, but none the less clear. Yoruichi's slowly lifted Soifon's hand, running her own long fingers over the flesh. Questioning platinum eyes turned up to feline woman, and warm gold responded. It was a moment of tenderness, a sort of pledge of friendship in spite of the past.

"You know, Little Bee, I think this past week may have given you more than you know."

"What do you -"

"Sssh… It's getting early, and I suppose I should be off. You know me, can't stay in one place too long." She flashed a grin and stretched languidly before a snap rattled the air and Yoruichi now wore the form of a sleek, jet-pelted cat, draped in the folds of Soifon's clothes. The svelte creature wriggled out of the pile of fabric and rubbed up against Soifon's leg before leaping out the window, where a barely visible grey-blue tinge seeped over the horizon. "See ya.", she said with a flick of the ears.

And with that, Yoruichi was gone. Soifon breathed a sigh and indulged in a stretch of her own, the slight ache in her muscles oddly comforting. So dating wasn't her thing… Oh well. She'd take Rangiku's punishment with her head held high and dignity intact. She'd be the bigger, more mature person in this whole mess.

_And you know what? _Soifon thought, _Let them think I love Yoruichi. I know they're wrong, and it'll fade in time. After all, soon this'll all be in the past. _And she would learn not to dwell on the past. If not now, then in time…

But as for the present, all she wanted were a few more hours of rest. Slipping between the covers, Soifon rolled onto her side and swiftly and gratefully fell into the sweet oblivion of sleep.

-

Morning came all too fast that Thursday.

She slipped seamlessly into the typical routine, half savoring the sheer normality of things. Soon, things would be back to normal. No more of Momo's crazy plans… No more Rangiku constant plotting (though the paperwork would be bad enough)… No more obscure dates with her colleagues… Just sweet, simple normality.

But for now, only one thing stood in the way of treasured routine - the weekly Shinigami Women's Association meeting.

_Come on. _she told herself, _You'll suffer through a bit of Rangiku's teasing and humiliation and then this'll all be over. Over and done with. You've taken down killer Hollows, you can put up with that insufferable woman._

Soifon was lost in thought as she wandered the gleaming white streets of the Seireitei to the meeting halls (the SWA had established a permanent base in the recently un-used meeting hall building), making the journey seem oddly brief. She only barely took note of her other female coworkers pouring into the building, a few stealing glances and turning back to whoever walked beside them while excitedly tittering about who had won and who had lost the infamous bet.

_Are they really that curious? _Soifon mused to herself, _In that case… They needn't wait too long._

-

Soifon took a seat toward the back of the room, hugging the walls of the room and dodging glances of the other members. The day seemed just as sticky and humid as it did a week ago, but this time no one was complaining - only eagerly awaiting the outcome. From the corner of her vision, Momo approached, quietly taking a seat next to Soifon. She didn't too beaten after last night's incidents - a bandage encircled her forehead and a few ugly cuts marred her cheek, but that was the extent of her injuries. She planted her hands on her lap and stared downwards, avoiding the gaze of other with her head bowed. After a few minutes, the girl's voice severed the silence between them.

"I'm sorry," whispered Momo, "I could have done better. I could have done more. I could have -"

"No." Soifon's voice was angry or harsh - just firm. "You did nothing wrong, and at least you had the heart to help me. I'm the one at fault."

"Don't say that -"

"I only speak the truth… Hinamori… Momo… Thank you." As if on cue, Yachiru's voice rang through the stuffy hall.

"And now, the meeting of the SWA can begin!" she said, as enthused as ever. Soifon glanced up at Yachiru and saw Rangiku standing behind the girl, her grey-blue eyes connecting with Soifon's and spilling over with poorly-contained pride. "And um, now we have a message from Big Boobies about Ninja Bee!" Yachiru gestured vaguely at Rangiku, who now was the center of attention. She flashed a smirk before speaking.

"Well, girls, some of you may recall a little bet I made last week with none other than our own Captain Soifon." Soifon didn't miss the condescending tone with buxom woman spoke with and gritted her teeth in response. Her titled name was nothing more than thinly hidden sarcasm. "In case anyone forgot, the terms were that she must obtain a date with any man and both must be mutually satisfied. If she succeeded, I would be restricted to 'appropriate' dress and would willingly aid her with her own Division. But if I won, she would have to take on the paperwork I'm stuck with. Well, guess what, everyone?" She paused for dramatic effect, heightening the impatience radiating from the crowd "I won!" A murmur, the mood indistinguishable, ran through the room.

_Keep your composure…_ Soifon thought to herself, eyes looking straight ahead, expression neutral and, overall, looking oddly calm. _This means nothing… _Beside her, Momo tensed, looking as if she were ready to rise up and object, but the girl didn't move otherwise. Slowly, the Commander took in the expressions of the others in the room.

Nanao looked completely neutral and indifferent as she sat with her arms folded over her chest. Retsu Unohana seemed a little put-off - after dealing with several injured Captains on Soifon's behalf, she hoped the woman would have _some _sort of luck. Her Vice Captain, Isane, wore a similar expression. However, Kiyone, who flanked Isane's other side, seemed ecstatic. She still hadn't forgiven Soifon for the whole incident with Jushiro. Yachiru wore a broad smile, and Nemu sighed before closing her eyes thoughtfully and it became impossible to tell what she was thinking. Momo, of course, looked disheartened and Rangiku was glowing - ready to burst with pride. Once more, their eyes of cold silver and misty blue met before Soifon, uncharacteristically, backed down and looked away. God, she felt completely humiliated. Worse yet, she sensed _pity _towards her in the room. She was strong - let them think her hopeless, let them think her unskilled in the realm of dating - but _do not _pity her. At this, her internal promises to remain unruffled melted into puddles of weak nothingness. Fiery rage crawled up the back of her throat, ready to manifest itself as sharp words and biting remarks. Furious, she flung herself to her feet and the room immediately silenced as all eyes focused on the rage-blinded captain. Her fierce reiatsu emanated from her being in threatening waves.

"I don't care that I lost", her voice resonated through the room, crystal-clear. "But I do not want your pity." At this, Rangiku's catty grin returned.

"What now? Don't be too pissed at me, Soifon. You accepted the bet, now I reap the benefits." And then, suddenly, with no warning…

"Wrong!" cried a clear, male voice from the doorway. Every head in room swiveled to meet the source of the noise. "There's a reason Soifon couldn't get a date." the voice went on. "Because _I'm _already her boyfriend!"

-

Ooh, cliffhanger, much? What's up now? Is this all some sort of clever plot? Or did Soifon REALLY have a boyfriend, making this whole week utterly pointless? Worse yet, was making the entire week seem worthless part of an even BIGGER plot that could change the course of fate as we know it? I wouldn't put it past me, and the only way you'll find out is by staying on alert for the final chapter of 'Seven Days of Love and Hate'!

And to all my reviewers, you guys kick so much ass it's not even funny. Seriously, you all rock.


	12. hotsummerDAYS xXLoveHateRemixXx

**Author's Note:** Alright, here it is! The cliffy is revealed! To be honest, I had this chapter done before putting up chapter 11, it just took me forever to get around to editing it. However, tonight I finally decided to put on the finishing touches (only after being fueled by Pizza Hut breadsticks - my 'brain food', of sorts). So, it's not too long or anything, but I hope you guys'll enjoy it. I know I enjoyed writing it...

I just now realized I've had this story in production for nearly five months since I scribbled my ideas down on some old math homework in Florida. It's come a long way, eh?

Anyways, Bleach is not mine. And, I doubt I'll ever aquire it. I might be picking up some of the anime soon though, so I guess I'll own a little, tiny sliver of Bleachy goodness? Maybe? ;P

**-**

_Brief Recap_

"I don't care that I lost", Soifon's voice resonated through the room, crystal-clear. "But I do not want your pity." At this, Rangiku's catty grin returned.

"What now? Don't be too pissed at me, Soifon. You accepted the bet, now I reap the benefits." And then, suddenly, with no warning…

"Wrong!" cried a clear, male voice from the doorway. Every head in room swiveled to meet the source of the noise. "There's a reason Soifon couldn't get a date." the voice went on. "Because _I'm _already her boyfriend!"

_Into the Present_

"What?" Soifon hissed softly.

"What?!" Momo exclaimed, surprised by the visitor.

"WHAT?" Rangiku screeched in fury.

"What? What? What's going on?" Yachiru asked repeatedly, thoroughly confused. A chorus of similarly-toned 'whats' rose from the crowd. And no one could blame the shinigami for their reactions. There, in the doorway, stood Yoruichi - a proud smile spread over her lips as her arms were crossed over her chest. And beside her was the one man no one expected in the least to see - Ichigo Kurosaki.

"Yup, that's right." he continued, striding across the room with an air of confidence and seeming unphased by the baffled stares he received. Casually, he looped an arm over Soifon's bare shoulders (again she only wore the Shozoku for sake of keeping cool). The short woman nearly cringed at the close contact, but regained herself upon realizing this orange-haired teen may just be her savior. Her metallic eyes snapped to the doorway where Yoruichi stood, and the latter shot Soifon a knowing wink. So that was the reason Yoruichi left early - she needed to get Ichigo to the Soul Society on time for this setup. The aforementioned boy's voice promptly drew her back into the here and now. "Me and Yoruichi had to screw up all the other dates in one way or another. I couldn't let her end up with anyone else." A quick glance of mutual understanding passed between the teen and the captain.

_I'm saving your butt, work with me, woman… _Ichigo's rich brown eyes seemed to speak for him.

_Ichigo, if you had any idea how grateful I am… _Soifon's own silver responded. Suddenly, a voice piped up from the crowd - the short and clipped alto of Nanao Ise.

"Ichigo Kurosaki, with all due respect," she began, "But if you and Captain Soifon had any prior… Relations, why do we only hear about it now?" A small chorus of agreement rose from others in the room, gradually gaining volume. Ichigo merely shrugged in response.

"We wanted to keep it under wraps so it didn't compromise her position. However, in light of recent events, it seems as if captains dating isn't forbidden." Soifon had to give him credit - Ichigo was a darn good actor. As if to increase the illusion of romanticism, he bowed his head slightly and touched his forehead to hers, putting their noses and lips not even an inch apart. It was at that moment, Rangiku pushed through the crowd, bright, misty (and currently furious) eyes sparkling with challenge.

"So," she began with her voice taut with suppressed rage, "How long have you two been together?"

"Three months." Ichigo replied flawlessly, the smirk on his lips widening. He was doing a stunning job of improvising this whole thing. A low, indistinct murmur ran through the on-looking women at this.

"That's a pretty long time for a boy your age.", she replied, a critical eye running over the pair. Soifon quickly took note of this, and instantly set to work attempting to look still closer with him. She twined her thin fingers with his other hand and scooted an inch or two closer, putting a similar distance between their bodies.

"Well, yeah." he responded, "But we're hopelessly in love, what can I say?"

"Prove it." Rangiku demanded simply, crossing her arms over her torso and tossing her head back, sending copper-gold locks falling over her back . Ichigo cocked an eyebrow and Soifon's face furrowed in suspicion.

"How?" they both chimed in unison.

"Kiss." she replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. A small, perfectly-timed gasp emanated from the crowd. "I mean, come on, in three months you two must have kissed at some point." A panicked look crossed over Ichigo's sharp features and Soifon blanched.

"U-um," Soifon began, desperately trying to cover, "I would in a heartbeat, but you see, Ichigo is very, _very_ shy and -"

"What?!" Ichigo squawked, still trying to defend his pride, "I'm not in the least bit shy! You're the one who would be - err, is shy." It was at this point that Yoruichi realized this charade couldn't be allowed to so easily fall to ruin and quietly slipped her way into the conversation.

"Rangiku, buddy, listen…" she started, sliding up beside the irate vice captain, "Is it really necessary to try and get them to make out right here in the middle of the SWA meeting? I mean, look at that," she pointed to a bickering Ichigo and Soifon, the desire to win the argument shining in their eyes, "I mean, that's young love in a nutshell!"

"Oh, I'm not believing squat until I see some PDA." Sighing, both knowing the other was too stubborn to even bother with, both women turned back to the two arguing.

"Well," Soifon snarled, her hands fisted and face contorted with a mix of annoyance and desperation. She was mere inches away from winning - closer than she had been in the past week, a trivial little meeting of lips standing between her and sweet, sweet victory. No way would she let it slip through her fingers now. "Maybe we should just _do_ it. I mean, it'll only last a second, right?"

"Hell no! I mean, er, All these people will see, um, _honey_," he choked out the last word. "It would be… Inappropriate! Yeah, that's it, I think..." Ichigo's words trailed off as the aforementioned woman's blazing eyes caught his, bright with fury. He knew full-well the capabilities, and temper, of the shinigami before him - she wasn't a captain for nothing - and he realized that any more provocations could land him a painful little stab with Suzumebachi, or perhaps the sight of the building being consumed in a Shunko. He expected that, but he didn't expect what would happen next.

"_Well, _urrrgh!" frustration leaked from her tone and her petite hands curled into even tighter fists, "Just, _argh_! You idiot, dammit, kiss me already!" Unexpectedly, Soifon did what was very likely the most un-Soifon-like thing possible. She roughly grabbed Ichigo's shoulders, yanked him down to her level and relentlessly smashed her lips over his in what was a rather painful and awkward kiss. His whole being stiffened in shock and surprise while Soifon tried to stretch that agonizing nanosecond into what was considered a decent kiss-length by modern standards. Everyone else merely watched. Some gaped. Some looked confused. Some were silently cheering them forth. And some wondered what in all the heavens the Commander was _on._

_Ew! _screeched the captain within her mind as she continued to press her lips to his. _Ugh, I've resorted to kissing the ryoka-kid!_

_Ew! _screamed the inner-Ichigo. _What the hell?! Sick! I can't believe I'm kissing the bitchy captain-chick! _She then released him and was met with a staring, stunned silence as the two of them tried desperately to suppress their gag reflex.

"Well, there ya have it." Yoruichi's voice cut the silence as she gestured to them. "Your proof in a kiss. Happy, Rangiku?" No one seemed to realize how obviously forced the kiss was and, instead, the roar of excited conversation rose around them. It was one-part disbelief, one-part wildfire gossip and one part discussing whether the bet's results had changed or not. Meanwhile, Soifon and Ichigo stood beside each other in uncomfortable silence until the latter decided to actually say something, rather than his prior activity of staring sulkily at the floor.

"Geez, woman…" Ichigo snarled in hushed tones as he wiped his mouth on his sleeve. "You kiss like you're trying to kill me…"

"Yeah, well, you're not exactly stellar either." the female captain retorted.

"Ehh? You think I was trying?"

"Like _I _was? I could do better if I tried."

"Well, me too." A thick, uneasy silence floated between the two.

"Let's agree not to think about that." Soifon finally responded, lips thin as she tried to dispel the horrible, horrible mental images.

"Deal." Ichigo agreed with a firm nod of the head. Another bout of silence drifted in the air until Soifon felt it would only be polite to apologize and offer a few thin words of gratitude.

"Anyways, yeah, sorry… I needed to win, but… I suppose I should really thank you."

"Yeah, you should. Yoruichi convinced me to come and play your boyfriend for a few minutes in return for 50 bucks, a thrashing of Kon and some baklava. Sheesh, she never told me I'd have to kiss you." Suddenly, their conversation was broken as a group, headed by the two upper-most officers of the Fourth Division, swarmed around them.

"Congratulations! You two do make a good couple." Retsu observed, her eyes flicking over the two. Ichigo and Soifon glanced at each other, trying desperately to imagine in what twisted, parallel-universe they actually made a good couple. Perhaps in the same one Renji decided to become a ballerina and Rukia was the reincarnation of Monet.

"So then, when I can be expecting little Ichigo-Soifon kids running around?" the healer's Vice Captain put in.

"Uh…" was the duo's only stunned reply. Kissing was bad enough, neither one had the stomach to think about _that_.

"Indeed…" Retsu agreed, "Just remember if you ever have any issues with the pregnancy, you can always come to my Division. Isane or myself will always be willing to help or answer any questions." Isane firmly nodded her agreement.

"What?" yelped Soifon, bristling. "Who told you I was pregnant?" Ichigo looked just as appalled, but he couldn't respond and only managed to gape.

"Well, Yachiru was the first to really vocalize the news." the woman with the plaited hair responded, not really understanding Soifon's panicked response. "And a few others confirmed it, and it just goes to show how behind I am with all the gossip… But then, it has never been my field of expertise…" With that, they wandered off, more likely to breed even more over inflated rumors. It didn't take a genius to figure out the initial source of wildfire rumors. As if by nature, Soifon's eyes snapped across the room to Rangiku, who was whispering some new gossip into the intrigued ear of Nemu. And then, visibly ruffled, Ichigo turned to the Commander.

"Oh god, you'd better find a way to stop all these rumors!" he yelped, "My reputation! It's gonna be compromised! I've worked for nearly sixteen years to build up my image and-" as Ichigo ranted on, Yoruichi appeared at their side, laying a hand on both of their shoulders.

"Come on you two! Look a little happier. See? Good, ol' me comes in and saves the day, so why the long faces?"

"They think I'm the father of some non-existent child-like thing _she_ -" He pointed to Soifon, "Would give birth to!"

"And that about sums it up." Soifon finished bitterly, rubbing her temples and trying to ease her stress.

"Don't worry about it… There are ways to clear that up in time. For now, just chillax. It's been decided, you've won the bet!" This seemed to effectively perk Soifon up.

"Seriously? Rangiku's not complaining?"

"Rangiku _can't _complain." Yoruichi responded with a grin as she pulled long arms above her head and arched her back in a stretch, "You met her terms about having a guy, and you met her terms about kissing him. There is no logical way she can take issue with that." Suddenly, a bubbly Momo joined the group, her earth-dark brown eyes sparkling.

"Oh wow!" the girl exclaimed, seemingly amazed at the recent turn of events, "Soifon, why didn't you just tell me beforehand you and Ichigo were going out? Then we wouldn't have had to suffer through any of this dating mess!"

"No, you don't really understand, I didn't-" Soifon stopped right there, a smile spreading over her lips at a lazy pace. She'd clarify things later for Momo, right now she wanted to bask in her victory. The rumors, by their very nature, would die off in time and, in the grand scheme of things, were really a petty worry. Right now, she was surrounded by people who had truly earned her friendship. The woman she swore she hated for so many years, Yoruichi. The girl she hadn't really acknowledged until recent events, Momo. The boy she had nearly tried to kill several months back when he was seen by the Soul Society as an enemy, Ichigo…

_So that's that…It's all over… _she thought, thoroughly contented, _It's been a tough week, but I've gotten through it. And I can't say in good conscious it's all my doing. I really hate to say this, but perhaps I owe them something. I can't say what, but something. _As she was deep in thought, a trace smile curled the edges of her mouth involuntarily. It wasn't forced, it wasn't a mask… Just a little smile, so natural she hadn't realized it herself.

"Well, that has to be the first time I've really seen you so happy all week," Momo commented, thus bringing Soifon back to the realization of her companions.

"I-I'm not that happy," she growled while turning away. Instantly, a warm hand ghosted over the back of her neck, settling there while the face of Yoruichi bobbed into her vision.

"Always so cold, Little Bee! Stop trying to hide your emotions, for god's sake… You have reason to be happy! There's not need for this stony little façade, Soifon. Celebrate!" The younger woman pursed her lips and fought back a blush of embarrassment at her mask being so swiftly cast aside. Her dark-skinned mentor knew her far too well. Nevertheless, Soifon's hand moved back to her own neck to grasp Yoruichi's and remove it.

"You'll have to forgive me," she sighed, bowing her head, "It's been a long week."

"Oh, from what you told me, it was more than 'long'." Yoruichi put in, a grin on her face, "You made it sound like the past week for you has been like some cheesy, crazy-ass soap opera!"

"Well, pretty much, yeah." her former student agreed frankly. Dating seven captains, rendering a good few incapacitated, being sabotaged by a colleague, winding up with a few injuries herself and experiencing arguably the biggest high and low points of her life all within a mere seven days was about the perfect soap opera set-up. Soifon was beginning to think she should market the concept.

"What would it be called?" Momo inquired, mildly amused with the thought. She began rolling off a list of some cheesy titles befitting such a hectic, wild week. Soifon only listened as her eyes scanned the women tittering excitedly with each other, as well as Ichigo being mercilessly teased by Yoruichi (his face was now an intriguing shade of crimson and he was doing all in his power to avoid her gaze).

"No…" Soifon interrupted, allowing the tiny grin to once more grace her lips. "Seven Days. Seven Days of Love and Hate."

Never had a title rang more true.

-

Sorry, for some bizarre reason, the word 'baklava' was stuck in my head when I wrote this. Honestly, I hate the stuff… Waaaaaay too sweet for me, but the world is fun to say. C'mon - just say it - 'baklava'. Heh. I know, I'm a dork... :P

Anyways, that's it. Did Ichigo surprise ya? Or did you expect it? I was originally contemplating having Izuru take his role, but I changed it on a whim because it made a little more sense due to Yoruichi's presence. Plus, it just seemed a bit more plausible.

I suppose I should note that I have a short (reaaaalllllly short) epilogue planned for after this and that's all. So, let's let the last_ true_ chapter of "Seven Days of Love and Hate" go out with a bang and leave some reviews?


	13. Epilogue: Back to the Beginning

**Author's Note:** Well, here I am, it's the epilogue and this is probably the last time I'll ever update this. It's actually rather bittersweet on my side of things - I'm happy to finish and move onto greater projects, but this was really my first multi-chapter fic (usually my attempts at anything longer than one-shots fall apart in a few days), so I guess I've grown attached to it, in a way.

Heh, well… No one's here to listen to me pour my heart out about misplaced emotions of a story, so I'll go ahead and move onto what you all want to get to - the final installment. One more closing idea - the title of this chapter (well, epilogue) features the concept of beginning. As this story draws to a close, it almost is a new beginning. I feel my skills have improved since I began this waaaaay back in July, and I already have a few more ideas for some more works (yes, a few of them Bleach) in my head.

Now, for the last time, I don't own Bleach, mm'k?

-

And thus, the bet came to an end. Soifon won, Rangiku lost and that was the end of things. It was over - all the chaos, heartache and bizarre outings were over. But don't worry… Things were by no means boring…

Soifon had an absolute field day chasing Rangiku about, armed with a stapler as she managed to forcibly staple the blonde's robe shut. It was a painful, but thoroughly satisfying, experience for the victor, as well as slightly humiliating to the losing party.

When the news spread that Ichigo was in the Soul Society - and to play boyfriend rather than fight or rescue someone - another crop of rumors began to circulate. It took a full two days to shoot them all down, but eventually Ichigo was able walk around without someone saying he was desperate/crazy/a father/beaten into line by Soifon/not Ichigo at all.

As for the rest of the guys who shared the ride?

Byakuya never did manage to salvage his reputation with Renji. The tattooed vice captain mercilessly teased him. The noble could only grit his teeth and bare it for only so long, so it was little surprise when after a cry of "Scatter, Senbonzakura!" from the Sixth Division, Renji ended up with a few scars of his own. Byakuya wasn't teased anymore, even when he did dip his head to acknowledge Soifon in Renji's presence.

Kenpachi, after recovering and getting an explanation of the incident, laughed off the whole thing, saying it had to be the best fight he'd had since, as he so eloquently put it, "the scuffle with the ryoka-kid" and he easily would have testified for Soifon. Upon hearing this, his fellow captain was infuriated, demanding why he didn't as soon as he recovered and Kenpachi simply responded with a shrug and he 'had no idea there even was a bet 'till now.''

Jushiro was _still _resting, but he made a quicker recovery than anticipated, much to everyone's delight. He was exceptionally surprised when he awoke from a nap and found a small bouquet of flowers on his nightstand, a little, pale-slate colored card nestled within them reading in a messy scrawl 'Thanks, and get better so your fool of a third seat stops threatening me'. He didn't need a name to be able to tell who so uncharacteristically sent the flowers.

Saijin had also benefited from his outing with the Second Division's captain. Though they didn't speak much (the conversations would still feel…awkward), the canine shinigami decided to take up modern dancing as a hobby, even contemplating running lessons in his free time. The only problem was that support for it wasn't exactly widespread…

Shunsui's semi-rejection from Soifon only inspired him to pursue Nanao even _more _relentlessly. Not only did he continue to flirt with his "adorable Nanao-chaaaaaan", but he added gifts of horrendous poetry, flowers (which she happened to be violently allergic to), and interpretive dance to his repertoire in attempt to win her over. Needless to say, his uptight vice captain was not very happy with Soifon.

Mayuri? Well, he didn't change much. Still the creepy, morbid researcher he was before. He only commented to Nemu that maybe a repainting of the lab could stand to be done. The next day, the lab was promptly recolored - the green button being power-override, this time, just as it should be.

Toshiro had managed to get a copious amount of photos of Rangiku fleeing a victorious, stapler-possessed Soifon. They arguably became his most cherished possessions and were, within two days, framed and matted on the walls of his office. He briefly contemplated getting glossy-finished, full-size prints published as well. Or perhaps make a calendar with the multitude photos. The possibilities were near-endless.

Finally, Izuru had come forward and admitted his part in Rangiku's scheming. To a great deal of surprise, Soifon simply nodded curtly and forgave him. What she didn't say was she had forgiven him simply in order to further annoy Rangiku.

It worked.

Yes, yes… Things had arguably settled into the normality Soifon had so desired. And this, readers, is where the story draws to a close. Things fell into a steady rhythm as time pressed forward. Eventually, the bet and all its aftereffects faded in the minds of many shinigami, only the things like Toshiro's photos or his second-in-command's staple-shredded robe to prove the bet even existed. Even Soifon and Rangiku were on speaking terms (though rather stiff and snappish) after a couple weeks. In the vein of any good story, from a hot summer day was born a tale of one woman's triumph, downfalls, romance, heartache and self-discovery.

That's not to say things were, well, tame. The SWA's meeting were as chaotic as usual, so it was nearly normal when on a crisp, autumn day, Soifon snapped. She and Rangiku were engaged in a heated debate about some trivial subject, and well, the conversation went downhill from there.

"Hey, Soifon…" Rangiku began, the telltale smirk of many months ago resurfacing upon her lips, "Why don't we settle this with a little bet…"

Now you're back at the beginning.

Again.

-

End

---

A few things to be said now…

To those wondering about the baklava I mentioned in the last chapter, it's a kind of pastry from the Mediterranean made of phyllo dough, filled with nuts and flavored with honey. Personally, I much prefer Karydopita (Greek walnut cake) over it. But I digress...

If you liked this, check out some of my other stories. I have two more Bleach ones up (both more serious, but still worth a glance, I think) and a one-shot and poem from the Warriors novel series, if you follow those (if not, I highly recommend them. Fighting clan kitties, FTW!). Also, out of sheer curiosity, what was your favorite chapter in this? So far, it seems as if Chapter Eight ("Disaster is Pink", or Shunsui's date) was the most-liked, as well the cliffhanger in Chapter 11 ("Halcyon Days to Melancholy Nights"). I'd love a bit of input!

Heh, and the bet at the end of this? It's not the same thing, as that would be pretty pointless on Rangiku's part. What is it then? I'll go ahead and leave it to your imaginations…

Finally, I want to thank everyone - all my readers and especially those who reviewed. It was you guys who kept me working on this when I felt about ready to toss it and give up. It was fun everyone, and thanks **SO **much!


	14. IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT REGARDING SDoLaH

-1Alright, cat's outta the bag…

I've been working on it for awhile now, and it's time for you guys to hear it - Seven Days of Love and Hate will be undergoing a rewrite. Now, before you begin to throw tomatoes/pieces of cake/lead weights/lawn chairs/ect at me, there's a couple things I want to clear up…

1) The story WILL NOT CHANGE. The plot will have the same basis. Some minute details I feel are unnecessary and/or ineffective may be scrapped in favor of something better, but rest assured the general populace's favorite parts will stay the same

2) The typos shall be eliminated and my newer, shinier writing that you see in the later chapters will be applied to the remarkably embarrassing early chapters.

3) Characters will be a tad more in-character as to make the crazy situations even more wild. When I began writing, I didn't anticipate this being published on , more or less a little story in my notebook to chuckle at. Now, with over a hundred reviews, I want to make it even more dramatic for you guys.

4) There will be new, insightful little bits thrown it. Things to clean up the messy grey areas or parts you were wondering about. I've already confirmed some of these with one of my friends/beta, and they say these parts'll definitely knock you socks off!

So! I hope you will all enjoy the upcoming changes! I've VERY happy to rework and play around again with my first full-length fic, and I hope everyone will give it a shot. There's no release date yet, but I'll let everyone know when I reupdate the chapters ahead of time so you can prepare for the big change….

In the meantime…

Happy reading/writing/reviewing!!


End file.
